Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Ugh...

I have to admit that I am sad every time I open up my iphoto library now.  For I only have 691 items in it, when I had over thousands of photos in there.  If I could get an icon of a face overflowing in tears right now... that would be how I feel.   

So, I did not post today because, I did something that was very much needed.  I forced myself to turn my computer off, closed it down and stuck it away in a chair, so to not be tempted to open it up and get on it today.  I am spending this week getting my home cleaned and organized.  I am taking my daughter to the park and getting her out of the house and into some fresh air, spending more 'real' quality time with her.  

Today I CLEANED my home.  So much, to the point, that I was on hands and knees crawling around and hand scrubbing spots and stains off the marble floor. I then went and got dinner and made dinner for hubby, my friend Val and her daughter.  I have been feeling depressed over the last couple of weeks.  I find that I am reading a sad story, over sad story, on this blog thing that it has started to take its toll on me. I am a very compassionate person, and I tend to hurt when I see people hurt.  The Cora story, as you have seen by reading my blog, really hit home for me.  Its been a wake up call for me.  However, it was also causing serious anxiety and depression in me. I have been so heartbroken for this family, for the parents and for the loss of that little girl.  By the way these two parents of Cora's sound so amazing.  She recently has been posting on her blog and seems to be handling the loss of her daughter so strong and courageous.  I don't think that I would be the same, but man I so admire that they are able to because it (as silly as this may sound) has helped ME to ease up on the anxiety and mourning of Cora that I have felt for them.  Knowing and hearing how strong Jessica (Jess) the mother sounds in all of that just takes a huge burden off of me and makes me smile to see how God is so taking care of his daughter, Jessica. 

So what is this post about?

Well, nothing much, I just thought I would take a moment to say hi to my readers and to blogs I enjoy reading while everyone else is sleeping, before I head off to bed myself.  Tomorrow, I am taking baby girl on a bike ride, to the park and then we are going to go watch big bro in his baseball game. 

Speaking of, I still have Chicago pics to post with the details of that weekend. I MUST post that because I am SO proud of Hunter and it isn't often I get to post pictures of my little man, who hides from the camera these days.  

Oh and this weekend, hubby and I took Morgan to the park and we took sandwiches to eat, laid out on a blanket and had ourselves a little picnic.  It was a fun filled afternoon.  I took Morgan on the swings for the first time. I said to Mark on the way there "today I bring no camera with me, for I am going to enjoy this time in person, not through a lens."  I was proud of myself.... but wait it doesn't end there, of course she looked too darn cute swinging on the swing, that I had to take pictures of her with the cell phone camera.  HA!  Although it wont be the best of images, I will post them tomorrow.  I am too tired to send them from my phone to the computer right now.  But isn't that ridiculous?  I am addicted to taking pictures!!!!! 

Thankfully my husband ordered me a HUGE HD (hard-drive) so I can now back up all my future photos.  

Sunday, we enjoyed a guest speaker at church, then attend Hunter's double-header games.  They lost, but boy did he look so cute in his uniform.  He hit well too.  But funny part of all of this is that he was more interested in getting his first email account.  So daddy promised him an email account, and as of Sunday evening, Hunter my little boy as entered the world of emailing.  I received some of the sweetest and cutest emails from him Sunday night.  My son.... a child after my own heart.  The love and bond we will share when he gets a phone (in 5 years) and can text his mama.  LOL!!!  

Yes, yes, yes.... I already am aware and on top of things to keep things safe for my son on the computer and his email account.  Looking into parental controls, safe guards and anything else I can to keep his email use safe and fun for the little man.  So please, ladies do not ask me for my 8 year olds email address, okay!!! HA!! 

Well, I must head to bed now, but first I may just have to fill up on oatmeal cookies and a glass of whole fat free milk.  I am sitting here in the dark just admiring the clean smell of my clean house today.  Ahhhh!!!  Another love language of mine!

Oh one more thing..... I never remember to watch "Get Out" in the afternoon, but happened to stubble across it today and it was two shows back to back, and a lot of my shows I hosted.  Today, they aired the San Francisco show where I sang "take me out to the ball game" at the 7th inning of the Giants game.  The show I will never forget.  A game that was sold out with a crowd of 48,000 people.  I sang.... and I got booed!!! Yes, not only because I can't sing to save my life (seriously, I am like Camera Diaz, have you ever heard her sing?) I am that bad.  But also because I tried to play up the crowd..... well, lets just say with the 2 second delay of the sound to the crowd, and that many people to play up to......just didn't go so well.  Oh what a day to remember.  I was very humbled that day.... the day I got booed.  It made me feel better to know that they are just a hard crowd to please, and that Jessica Simpson was also booed there before, so I felt much better.  

Speaking of, I had Morgan sitting in her high chair and every time mama would come on, I would point and say "mama" to her at me on the screen.  I am texting Mark telling all that is going on, and then I look over and see Morgan had fallen asleep.  Um, the girl just woke up from a nap, how could she be sleeping again?  I guess "Get Out" couldn't hold a place next to Handy Manny, and she was bored out of her mind and just said she's "Gett'en Out" alright.  LOL  

Oh and although it was a God wink that I had to appear in court yesterday, that I didn't go to Tahiti.  Can you believe I sat at the court house for hours, to only be told that the hearing has been rescheduled and I have to come back to court on the 10th of March?  I just want to pull my hair out!!!! Courts..... avoid at all cost, because they are so not considerate of others!! It isnt' up costing me $50 bucks for a sitter that day to sit at court and do nothing. Grrr!!!  Either that or God, also was showing his sense of humor to me.  :)

Thank you all that has sent me emails offering sympathy or advice about my lost photos, but I have come to accept that they are gone and move forward.  I feel and am blessed, that I have the REAL deal in my arms to hold and kiss and smell..... Ill take that any day over pictures.  

But I still haven't been offered up any advice on how to burn and upload the slide DVD I made??? Anyone know? 

Good Night blogging world!!!! 

I know you have seen these pictures before, but I am posting them again because I like them and I can.  Picture with Morgan at 3 months old and then me at age 21, Hunter 6 months old. 



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