Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Prayer request - Ms. Butterfly

(Update Two) Wednesday 3:30 PM

Again, THANK YOU all for the out pour of emails, direct messages, facebook and phone calls.... most importantly for YOUR PRAYERS.

OK, so the latest as of today.

We woke up to a busy morning. It was a family adventure first thing this morning, as I had to drive Hunter to school and Mark to work. Mark's car is getting it's 150,000 miles services done. This car is holding up well for us. We, as of last month, are officially owners of both our cars. Mark finally sent in his last payment and the title is ready to be mailed. Now lets just hope that neither of the cars break down or have anything horrible happen to them. We love not having a monthly car payment and have decided no matter what, as much as possible, to be avoided, we will never purchase a car again that we can't pay cash for. Meaning we will never seek out to have a car payment again.

Anyways, after a family affair this morning with the girls dropping off the boys to their perspective places, we girls went home to get ready for our day. I decided to let Morgan skip her school today since I would have to pick her up early anyways for her appointment.

We came home, made up the beds, cleaned up dishes from breakfast and got dressed. Well, one of us did all of that anyways. While holding Morgan on my hip, looking in her closet for what shoes to put on her, she notices a 'dogga' (a.k.a. DOG) sitting in the closet. This dogga was given to me for her at my baby shower in Texas. She decided that was the chosen travel buddy for the day, along with her Dora the Explorer purse and gee (a.k.a. blanky).

We arrive at her appointment almost 20 minutes early so I could do the paper work. See, I am thinking ahead of the game here. When we walked in, the waiting room was empty. The ladies behind the desk where cooing over little adorable butterfly. Let's just say she didn't mind the attention at all. She must get that from her daddy mommy. Ahem.

To make a long story short and get to the point....

The room quickly filled up and she made lots of friends. Adult friends.

After 45 minutes of waiting, finally they call out "MORGAN".

The nurse so sweetly asked Morgan if she wanted to hold hands, and Morgan so sweetly accepted.

She introduces us to our new waiting room. Its like the game that all doctor offices play. Wait out in lobby, when its starts to press for a long waiting period in lobby, they then call you in the room, so you are distracted and you think your time has finally arrived. Nope, they just move you into the room and it then becomes a holding/waiting room there also.

Any parent knows that any small room for a toddler is asking for it, but I do my best to entertain her until she finally got bored, hungry and tired. Then a meltdown broke out. She was on the floor, rolling around, kicking her feet and even lost her shoes.

After a few minutes of that, she got herself together, was back up and into things again. The doctors must of heard all the commotion, because after 15 minutes of waiting in that room, the doctor finally came in.

This doctor is an ENT specialist (Ears, Nose and Throat). He seemed nice. I mean after all I had only known him for about 30 seconds. Can't you tell in 30 seconds if a person is nice or not? He was kind to Morgan and gentle, but he was also one of those doctors that was quick to make his observation and send you on your way. Sometimes that can be a good thing after waiting for almost an hour to be seen. However, sometimes it can also come across less sensitive, and make you feel more like you are in their way. It sets off a negative energy to the patient. At least that is how I can often feel in that situation. I don't want to ever be made to 'feel' that I am in any ones way.

See, I care about others that way. HA!

Needless to say, he 'believes' it to only be a swollen lymph node. Same thing we all, including the other two doctors that had seen Morgan. He also said that "a month" for it being there isn't long at all, that several months or years is a long time. Almost as if possibly to say that one month is overreacting. Or maybe I am overly concerned. Yet, I haven't said more than probably 10 words since he walked in the door. He did all the talking. I just sat, listened and shook my head as to say "okay."

Or maybe that was his way of trying make me feel better and less concerned? Who knows. People are interesting that way.

I honestly wasn't stressed at all being there, other than the fact that I was now getting tired and ready to get my cranky toddler home to bed. Other than that I was in good spirits.

The doctor continued to tell me that this lump is very mobile (his words), and no other signs or other swollen nodes were detected, which to even further indicate that there probably isn't anything to be concerned about right now.

GREAT!!!! I like hearing that. It's what I felt in my gut anyways, but of course wanted to the doctor (specialist) to give me affirmation. He said it should go away on its on, and to just keep an eye out on it. If it is still there in a few weeks to a month, come back in and see if any changes have been made to it.

At this time he didn't want to make any other opinions about it, because it is in such a delicate part of her beautiful face, lets not touch it until we absolutely have to.

GREAT!!! I prefer that also.

On the other hand..... there is a part of me that does wish that they would have at least viewed it with an ultrasound. I'm a visual person. I want to see what we are looking at under the scopes. Besides, wouldn't that give even more detail or clarification, as well as answers, more so that what you are feeling with your hand or seeing with the human eye?

However, that didn't happen and so I will continue to leave it up in God's hands. I even told Him that while secretly talking to Him while getting Morgan's shoes back on and things gathered to leave. Well actually I was thanking Him repetitively before that. I didn't want to even for a second seem as though I took any moment for granted, already knew the answers and didn't need to rely on Him. Instead, I could have had two outcomes in which both I solely relied on HIM for peace in.

I am grateful for the words that were spoken today.

Fifty dollars later, a tired girl eats her lunch and is off to dream land. I sit here writing this update, while my hubby is texting me to come pick him up so we can go get his car. Sorry, honey, I think you will have to wait until the sleeping princess rises from her nap.

Hmmmmm..... maybe I'll take a little nap too?

These photo's were all taken with the cell phone, so you know how that goes. At least it gives you a little visual candy to make you feel like a part of your journey today.

Thank you again and again for the love you show to Butterfly and my family in general. You all rock!!!

And don't you be worried either.... mama doctor here will keep her hands and eyes at close watch to this little stubborn LYMPH NODE. Should anything further come of it.....well, you know you will hear from me.

(Update One) Tuesday 6:15 PM

Morgan had her appointment today and yes the lump is still there. We saw one of the doctors on duty today and he is one I don't particularly have a relationship with. He has sent us on to see a pediatric surgeon to have an ultrasound done on it before we start poking her with needles etc.

However, I did call my friend whom is Morgan's pediatrician and instead we are going to see another specialist tomorrow at 11:30 AM.

THANK YOU ALL for the out pour of prayers via facebook, email and here. Makes one feel much supported and I did have such a sense of peace today. And I still do. Morgan did excellent as the doctor examined her all over the place today. She only got upset when he put the tongue thong in her mouth to view her throat area and inside of her mouth.

It also seems that my little growing toddler must have fell and bruised her two top teeth as they have a slight bruise tent to them recently. Oh the ever on going stuff with toddlers, right?

I'll keep you posted as I know. Keep the prayers coming.

(Original Post) Tuesday morning.

I know. I know.

I have been really bad with posting on here over the last week. However, it being the holiday break from school and Christmas, we have been really busy. If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you know that I went to Boston to watch my son almost get his first hat trick (that's shooting 3 goals in a game) and the Jr. Panther winning their 2nd Tournament Championship. I'll post more on that later with some pictures of my boo.

Then I traveled to Boca Grande Florida, which is an island I never new existed out there to photograph outside in Spring clothing, in 45 degree temps with a wind chill of about -20. Talk about not fun.... it was NOT FUN!!! But the client was great to work for and with, and we were able to get the job done.

Also, I mentioned a couple of weeks back that Morgan was fighting a sinus infection, along with her daddy and I. I also mentioned that I felt a lump inside her right cheek. The doctor took a look at the lump in our last visit about 15 days ago and believed it to be an infected gland due to her ear and sinus infection she was fighting. He gave her an antibiotic for 10 days and wanted to see her back to see if the lump was gone. If the lump was not gone, they were going to do further evaluation and run some blood test to get some answers as to what this lump is doing in my butterfly's cheek.

Of course, being the mom that I am, I google search 'lump' and 'bump' in your cheek. A very bad idea! As all that came up in response were images and sites about tumors and oral cancer. Very little about 'glands.'

No thanks! I don't even want to let my mind go there.

At the same time.... I let my mind go there a little bit, so I can try to be some what prepared should it be anything to be concerned about. If it turns out to be nothing to be concerned about, I will be that more relieved and grateful. I read every single day about children going through and dealing with all types of cancer and it breaks my heart.

Let's take my mind off of that for a minute (and yours) and focus back to some positive things.

The doctor felt good about the idea that the lump, which 15 days ago, was about the size of a grape, was moving around when pressed and messed with. Which lead him to believe that it was the gland in her cheek.

Today, the lump (I believe) has gone down some in size. Its about the size of a half grape I guess. It is still moving around. As I touch it every single day trying to measure its down sizing so I could make myself relax more about it, while clinging to faith that God has this under control no matter what. And HE does!

However, the lump is still there and I want to know why.

I am taking her back to the doctor today. From being at the hospital working with kids with cancer and reading blogs on the children I pray daily for with cancer. I have often read that it is extremely important to work fast on these things.

So, I am getting a move on it as we are around 15 days since the doctor last felt it and the lump that I am aware of, has been there about a month from the first time I noticed it.

My plan:

A. Writing this post to get you prayer worriers moving too. Will you please pray for my butterfly today? Pray the doctor doesn't get too concerned about it. However, even if the doctor doesn't seem too concerned, I will be requesting that the extra steps be taken and test be ran no matter what. Can't be too safe when it comes to things like this. Please pray that it really is a gland just taking a little longer to get rid of all the infection it was fighting inside her little body. Please pray that God give myself and the doctor the insight we need to make the best choices for this little girl. Please pray that my mind stay positive, calm while relying on Gods hands and plan for all of this. Please pray that no invasive surgeries will be needed on her little face to remove this lump. Please pray for anything you can think of that I may not be at this time that you feel on your heart to pray. The power of prayer is magical.

B. Enjoy this day alone with my girl. We are going to run errands, get groceries and just hang out. The holidays, the travels and my work over the last few weeks have kept me busy. Today, I plan nothing and look to every minute to spend with my Butterfly.

C. Trusting in God. Although, I have had so much on my mind these last few weeks. Some personal things, my mind seems so cluttered and busy. I have found myself lately boggled and unfocused during my prayers. In the middle of my prayers, my mind wonders about all that I am worried about and I forget to finish my prayer. That is why I need YOUR extra prayers for me and my family, as there are many changes as I mentioned in a post not long ago, still quickly approaching upon us that are weighing in on my worries.

D. Focusing on my family, this new day we are blessed to have, as each day is not promised to us. Focusing on an upcoming year. Focusing on relationships. Focusing on family and friends. Focusing on my God.

With that being said.....

I have some fun changes coming to my blog soon, with some fun surprises and giveaways. My blog may be going in a little bit of a different direction. All in which I am excited about and I hope you will be too. More on that later.

For now, look at this photo. My Butterfly 20 months old. Isn't she just beautiful? Wow. I can just stare and smile at her forever!

She is my girl. My angel. My Butterfly. My daughter. My gift. My joy. My heart.

Thank you for your prayers.

Happy New Year!

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