Tuesday, March 31, 2009

He went home~

Baby Jonah, one of the babies I have been praying for went home this week with his mommy and daddy.  YEA!!!  Praise GOD!!  

Although, this baby still has a VERY LONG road ahead of him...... 

Please continue to pray for this family and little boy, Jonah!!!  

Are you enlisted?

"Whoever wants to be great must become a servant" (Mark 10:43 MSG).


Grab your button code below and show everyone that you enlisted as Gods servant.


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We serve God by serving others.

The world defines greatness in terms of power, possessions, prestige, and position. If you can demand service from others, you've arrived. In our self-serving culture with its "me first" mentality, acting like a servant is not a popular concept.

Jesus, however, measured greatness in terms of service, not status. God determines your greatness by how many people you serve, not how many people serve you.

This is so contrary to the world's idea of greatness that we have a hard time understanding it, much less practicing it. The disciples argued about who deserved the most prominent position, and 2,000 years later, Christian leaders still jockey for position and prominence in churches, denominations, and parachurch ministries.

Thousands of books have been written on leadership, but few on servanthood. Everyone wants to lead; no one wants to be a servant. We would rather be generals than privates. Even Christians want to be "servant-leaders," not just plain servants. But to be like Jesus is to be a servant. That's what he called himself.

While knowing your shape is important for serving God, having the heart of a servant is even more important. Remember, God shaped you for service, not for self-centeredness. Without a servant's heart, you will be tempted to misuse your shape for personal gain. You will also be tempted to use it as an excuse to exempt yourself from meeting some needs.

God often tests our hearts by asking us to serve in ways we're not shaped. If you see a man fall into a ditch, God expects you to help him out, not say, "I don't have the gift of mercy or service."

While you may not be gifted for a particular task, you may be called to do it if no one who is gifted at it is around. Your primary ministry should be in the area of your shape, but your secondary service is wherever you're needed at the moment.

Your shape reveals your ministry, but your servant's heart will reveal your maturity. No special talent or gift is required to stay after a meeting to pick up trash or stack chairs. Anyone can be a servant. All it requires is character.

It is possible to serve in church for a lifetime without ever being a servant. You must have a servant's heart.

How can you know if you have the heart of a servant?

Jesus said, "You can tell what they are by what they do" (Matthew 7:16 CEV).

Real servants pay attention to needs. 

Real servants pay attention to needs. Servants are always on the lookout for ways to help others. When they see a need, they seize the moment to meet it, just as the Bible commands us: "Whenever we have the opportunity, we have to do what is good for everyone, especially for the family of believers" (Galatians 6:10 GWT).

When God puts someone in need right in front of you, he is giving you the opportunity to grow in servanthood. Notice that God says the needs of your church family are to be given preference, not put at the bottom of your "things to do" list.

We miss many occasions for serving because we lack sensitivity and spontaneity. Great opportunities to serve never last long. They pass quickly, sometimes never to return again. You may only get one chance to serve that person, so take advantage of the moment.

"Never tell your neighbors to wait until tomorrow if you can help them now" (Proverbs 3:28 TEV).

John Wesley was an incredible servant of God. His motto was: "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can."

That is greatness. You can begin by looking for small tasks that no one else wants to do. Do these little things as if they were great things, because God is watching.

Real servants make themselves available to serve. 

Real servants make themselves available to serve. Servants don't fill up their time with other pursuits that could limit their availability. They want to be ready to jump into service when called on.

Much like a soldier, a servant must always be standing by for duty: "No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier" (2 Timothy 2:4 NASB).

If you only serve when it's convenient for you, you're not a real servant. Real servants do what's needed, even when it's inconvenient.

Are you available to God anytime? Can he mess up your plans without you becoming resentful? As a servant, you don't get to pick and choose when or where you will serve.

Being a servant means giving up the right to control your schedule and allowing God to interrupt it whenever he needs to.

If you will remind yourself at the start of every day that you are God's servant, interruptions won't frustrate you as much, because your agenda will be whatever God wants to bring into your life. Servants see interruptions as divine appointments for ministry and are happy for the opportunity to practice serving.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Stellan Update - Winds of change!

Please visit Jennifers blog. 

Critical Condition: STELLAN!

I know I posted a cheerful post before this one today....but then I read this and realize, I can't NOT post about this today.  This is priority right now.  I copied this from Fort Thompson blog, a blogging friend of mine and felt it was perfect to copy and paste here.  Please God, protect this little boy.  

Stellans heart is beginning to fail. His heart is still in SVT and not able to supply all of his little body with blood. There is no longer any pulse at all in his feet. His body is beginning to turn pale as his heart continues to fail. It is a miracle in itself that he has made it a week now in this condition.

A new treatment plan is being put into place now. There are no details on this new plan yet, however we hope something can still be done in time. By the way, today Stellan turned 5 months old.

I appreciate all of you who have left comments that you are praying with us for little Stellan. He needs our prayers now more than ever. Please continue to lift him up as well as his family, and leave a comment here to let all know that you are doing so.

Will you pray with us?

Love and Prayers,

Brightening the Mood today with MY GIVEAWAY!!!

So its true I have had an emotional week, a crazy busy weekend with my sons baseball tournament, in which by the way let me shout the CHAMPIONS!!!!  Then to a little 11 month old baby girl who ran fever all weekend, but didn't complain about it too much, to photographing my very first wedding.  You get the idea of just how busy I have been this weekend now right?  

I need to cheer up, and I need to help cheer up others out there and today is a GREAT new day for that.  I was invited to guest post on a blog that I have come to know, called 7CircusClowns.  Angie, the author of the blog, is a very fun gal, always sharing fun post and over all just seems like the girl that you would want in your circle of friends.  

She is on vacation and to keep her blog active she has had guest post for a week now.  I meant to post this before, so that you could all stop by and check out all her guest post, but time and it, slipped by me, and before I knew it, we are onto another week. However, its never too late.  I have great motivation skills, and got what you need, to get you over there today.... A BIG GIVEAWAY, by ME, on HER blog!!! Wait a second.... before you forget about me now and rush over there for the giveaway, be sure to say hi to Angie over there if you like, but don't forget to read the entire giveaway post and come back over here with your entry request.  Cool!

Now go have some fun exploring another blog and learn how you can become a ......??  Well, just head over to 7CircusClowns and find out yourself. 

A little sneak peak of my very first wedding that I photographed yesterday.... there are hundreds to go through but here is a little peek.

Friday, March 27, 2009

It's been a hard week....

This is a sad post....not a happy one, so if you are overwhelmed with sad stories, I suggest you move to the next blog for today.  God Bless. 

Not so much a hard week personally for me.  It's been a hard week in life and death, thats around me this week.  Its been very emotionally difficult for me, but this post isn't about me.  I am going to simply write to release some of my built up emotions that need to be released, and probably what has been causing me to have some serious headaches the last 3 days.  If you knew me, I am not one to ever get headaches. In fact, I hardly get them that I have a bottle of Tylenol that will last me, well lets just say a long time.  However, I have had some really painful headache that can't see to go away for two days.  Its so not like me. 

I haven't been blogging for two reasons.  One I have been sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for every single twitter update and or post on Stellan. I was giving regular updates, but I figured by now that anyone that sees my post can click and visit MckMama's blog for updates. I have been anxious and optimistic all at once these last few days.  I am not one that can handle the "not knowing" of things all that well. My mind, and I try to not let it, always tends to think (and vision) the absolute worst possible scenario.  I know its so bad to do that, but I feel as though that my mind prepares itself for the possible worst thing that could happen, and then if the worst doesn't happen, then I am that much more thankful and appreciative.  

Tonight, however I finally broke down and lost it.  I thought I had been doing fairly well with all the sadness around me this week.  Deep inside I think I tell myself to not fall into the deep emotions of it all, that I so can easily do.  All for the sake of not annoying my husband with having to come home and hear me talk about death or sitting at my computer crying over someone I never knew.  Lately, I find myself getting a hold of myself, cleaning up my act so to speak,  soon before Mark gets home from work. I can put on my happy face and not show him I have gotten emotionally involved in yet another sad story of a sick baby or a baby that has been lost.  I even tried to stay away from reading other blogs this week other than keeping the update on Stellan.  

Tonight, we went over to some friends to watch Syracuse get their butts kicked.  On the way home Morgan seemed to be feeling warm, as if maybe a fever is approaching her.  So I get her in her pj's and rock her to sleep, holding her a little extra longer before putting her to bed.  So peaceful and so thankful of my little girl.  

Then I thought I would get on and check on my babies....I say 'my' babies, because I really am concerned for them.  You see their blog buttons in the prayer scroll to the left of my blog here.  I check and pray for them every single day.  Tonight I get on to read a VERY frightening and unbelievable heartbreaking story.  If you are trying to stay away from these types of stories, post, news etc.  I urge you to move on to the next blog tonight, because this is a post about life, death and faith. The sad side of it. 

Tonight, I read of a family who have five beautiful children, 4 boys and 1 little princess.  They recently lost their youngest boy, of eight months old, named Sage.  He was found not breathing in his crib last Thursday morning, as the father went in to wake him to get him ready for their day.  The father did CPR on him until the medics arrived, only to be told he was gone.  They brought the little boy down stairs to be held by the family one last time.  That is painful to write as it is to hear, as it is to think about.  ONE LAST TIME! I can't stand it.  I normally don't allow myself to ask God why, because I know we do not have the right to ask him why.  We are the clay, he is the potterer and we are to be thankful for it all.  I believe that, I respect that and I try my best to accept that.  However, sometimes, it just doesn't make sense.  Its painful, it hurts and it's so unbelievably confusing.  The thought of losing YOUR child.  Watch your child go through a sickness that will take their life away too soon. Or a situation as this family, to wake for a normal routine part of their day, only to have that 'normal' be shattered and ripped right out from under them. 

Tonight, I sit at my computer and my head feels as though I am either going to passout or explode, because I am trying my hardest to hold back my tears. Not just tears from the little bit of over flow of my eyes, but tears because I am bawling.  I trying to not breath, because I know once I take a full breath, my crying episode will be given away to my husband who is sitting on the couch enjoying a movie, and that's all he wants to think about now.  He is tired of hearing me talk and be sad over all this sadness. I don't blame him. 

I spoke with my mom yesterday, checking in on her, for she attended a funeral today, for the death of her friend.  My mom is a strong beautiful lady, and in truth I realize I haven't talked about my family (out side of MY family here in this house) on my blog.  I don't know why that is, and I feel bad just realizing that.  There is so much I can share about all my family, my siblings and my nieces and nephews.  Ill have to save that for future post.  As my mom and I are talking, we began to talk about life and just how quick it can be taken away.  Sometimes, I think we often forget just how human we are.  That we are walking and breathing beings. We are disposable and fragile.  Life is precious, and to be valued as so. 

Tonight, I just feel overwhelmed, full of sadness and burdened.  I feel the energy in the air seems to be feeling stressful, depressing, crazy, confusing, frightening, sad and a bit hard.  People everywhere losing their jobs, their homes and loved ones. I don't watch TV (of any kind other than Morgan's disney channels), listen to the news, or read the news.  I try to distance myself from all of that.  I have said this before, and I will say it again....  It appears that even being online reading blogs is getting to be just as hard.  As my husband said, having so many blogs that I follower, and so many that follow my own blog.  I am bound to hear a said heartbreaking story like this one here tonight, EVERY SINGLE DAY.  That is truth and fact, but something that just doesn't seem to AS REAL if its not in my view.  I don't read about it, I don't hear about it and I don't have pictures to have visions of it...then I have a chance to make it through my day with out feeling so much pain, heartache and shedding of tears.  

Back to my mom for a minute. She started to share with stories of when we were little and how she also had to be one to try to stay away from such stories and news, because it would be so painful to her, without ever knowing people involved in the stories.  My mom and I are just made to be very compassionate, carrying and sensitive people.  We take this stuff to heart, so deep it hurts to the core.  Our emotions tend to react as if we are the ones going through such heartache.  We can't explain it, we can't control it, and we can't deny it. Its very real to us, and very painful. Then to think or know that this pain or heartache we are facing, hurts to know that we aren't even scratching the surface as those who are actually going through the stuff, must be feeling.  That breaks my heart. 

I asked God tonight, as I quietly got up and made my way to the bathroom to let my bawling session out, before my ears started to bleed.  Keeping it as low key as possible for my husband, almost as if I am afraid he would ground me from my blog reading, because of how it affects me. I then go in and check on Morgan to make sure she isn't running a fever.  I stay a little longer, placing my hand on her, feeling her breath.  Thoughts run through my head, the thought of not seeing her in that crib, unthinkable or what the "what if's" could happen as soon as I walk out of her room.  Then other thoughts run through, and I wonder if there is anything running through her body, that is going to pop up one day and take her life.  I just start praying, and thanking God for my blessings, but thanking him in away like its almost a pleading kind of thanks. To please protect her and let her live a long healthy life.  I know He has big plans for her, I feel it, but then what if thats just me being a mom not wanting to go through what so many others moms already have.  

Now I know some will want to write comments, telling me that things happen for reasons and so much good can come from it and even bring so many new believers to Christ.  I understand that, I get that and I appreciate that.  However, it doesn't make it any easier for super sensitive people like myself, or those that are going through the loss.  The loss of A CHILD mind you. Its so painful, that its amazing that the body can even get up and get through another step or breath, after your heart has been ripped right out of your chest.  To deal with the loss of a child, but then having to remain strong enough to help your other young children, trying to help them even understand what just happened to their baby sibling. Its a cross to carry that just seems way too heavy to even think about.  

I am just sad tonight, this week and I feel I have to distance myself from this, because I am one to take it too deep and too close to my own heart, that I will start to feel depressed and sadden. Its not fair to my own children and family to deal with a crabby mommy, because she is not able to read a sad story and fall apart. Because to me, its not a STORY, its real, VERY real.  Painfully real! And knowing that, sometimes, I feel guilty to be so blessed, while others go through such tragedy. I struggle to find that balance.  That balance to be compassionate for others, and serving to others, without becoming overwhelmed, depressed and obsessed with fear or worry over my own blessings, and children's health.  

My mom lost a friend.  My mom attended the funeral of her friend today.  I am sad for the pain and heartache my mom is experiencing today, this week and the days to come ahead of her.  To not have her friend to walk through her door, coming over for a visit, providing her company during her days.  That breaks my heart. I wish I was there to comfort my mom.  My heart aches for the husband, a man that is my fathers childhood friend.  A man that I have known all my life.  He just lost his wife, his friend and partner.  Im sad over that.  

And then Stellan, and the other beautiful babies I pray for.  Oh how it all breaks my heart. 

To this family here.... this photo is not going to be an easy one to look at.  I only post it, because I am one that doesn't like to sugar coat anything.  I want this picture to provide and to REMIND us that God, I believe, wants us to hurt and care for others.  It gives me a little bit of a better understanding of how Jesus felt and feels about all of us, His own children. I really believe he hurts and weeps and cares just as deep, .... actually more.

This picture is the last time in which these two families will ever hold their eight-month, and youngest child, Sage.  This picture was taken in their home, just before the medics took him away.  Thinking of that moment brings such anxiety to me.  The thought of this moment when a child dies, and is taken away from the parents for the last time.  Seems to be the hardest thing for me to think about, that I seriously feel anxiety over it. Almost a moment of a panic attack. Where I have to take deep breaths, or I could forget to breath altogether. I can't imagine, walking away, watching or even letting go of my child... to be taken away from me, for the rest of my life on this earth. Tonight, I just cried and asked God why. 

You can see how much pain his parents are in. The tears dripping down to the tip of the fathers nose. Baby Sage starting to loose color in his body.  A little boy, very much loved, is lying in his parents arms, dead.  He isn't sleeping, he is gone. How are parents to survive that, and why did it have to happen? 

Their Blog click HERE

I have some thoughts on it, and I thought of a post to write the other day while outside on my date with God. I want to write it when I have all my thoughts together and my verses from the bible I read the other day organized.  On why I believe this had to happen....other than it being just part of our fallen world. 

Please take a moment and pray, asking God the following.  

1.  Pray that God protects Stellan's heart for another day.  I just got a twitter update from MckMama as I write this.  She was able to give Stellan a nice sponge bath, under a heat lamp and he loved it.  He is sleeping now, but his heart is back up above 200 bpm.  Please pray for Gods protection on his little heart.

2.   Pray for Jonah, that they find a way to protect him from having so much pain during his bandage change.  That they can find out what is wrong with his skin and can provide him with the care to help him and protect him.

3.  For Ryan, as the doctors and family figure out the next step in this little boys heart.

4.  Pray for Bentley as she prepares for her open heart surgery.  

5.  Pray for Abby - 

6. Pray for Kayleigh

7.  Pray for Sage's family.

8. Pray for my mom and dad, and their friends. 

9.  And many, many others... and while I am here, I ask you to start praying for Morgan (MY MORGAN).  We are approaching her one-year birthday and are so excited about it.  I have so much to share about this.  However, it also means we are also approaching a year, as she goes back in for another echo-exam on her heart murmur to see how it is doing.  Please pray that it is going away and or staying innocent and will continue to be nothing more. Here she was at only 3 weeks old getting her echocardiogram done. 

If you are still reading this, thank you for being supportive and if anything simply listening reading what I have to say.  

Please go give your children and loved ones a big hug and kiss, and let them know how much you value you and love them.  I am going to do that myself and go take some more Tylenol before heading off to bed.  

God Bless Friends.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Stellan Update - Please keep praying!!!

  1. MckMamaMckMama...and also surprised that his body is tolerating the high heart rates for as long as he has.
  2. MckMamaMckMamaThe Drs are surprised that the meds haven't helped Stellan convert by now...
  3. MckMamaMckMamaStellan keeps coming in and out of a V-Tach state and a slower SVT.

    Last night and today has been very much a VERY HIGH and a VERY LOW stream of emotions and fears for this little boy.  MckMama has since posted a couple of post with the latest on our Stellan.  Yes, he is OURS, ours to pray hard for. Please click HERE to read the updates. I was out with a friend for most of the day and was sitting on the edge of my seat as all the scary Twitter message came into my phone.  

    As that took place.... I received a call, a SAD call.  My mom on the other line and before she could say anything other than "hey babe" to me, I asked her "what's wrong?"  She was caught by surprised and said "what do you mean, how do you know that something is wrong?" I said "mom, I always know this, especially when its you. I can feel it.  What's wrong." She just began to cry as she tells me that one of her good friends died last night in the hospital.  She is the wife of my dads life long childhood best friend.  We will call my moms friend "J" for now.  J, had been in the hospital for a week now, not sure what was wrong, but she was sick.  She started to get really bad there for a couple of days, and then she began to turn things around and seemed to be getting better.  Then another day she seemed worse, and then the last two days they she seemed to be doing great, acting her normal self, talking and laughing.  Yesterday, while her husband "B" was there to spend time with her.  They were talking and laughing.  All seemed fine.  He went outside to take a cigarette break, and while he was sitting outside, they came to tell him that "J" passed away. I do not have the details of all of it yet, but as one can imagine, this has been such a shock to this family and friends. J has left behind an 18 year old daughter and her husband.  Please pray for both J's family and my parents who are extremely close. 

    Update as of last night - click HERE

  1. MckMamaMckMamaStellan just flipped into some new regular pattern that is alarming the nurses a bit...paging Dr.
  2. MckMamaMckMamaHe is skill in SVT almost exclusively, but he jumps around as if his heart WANTS to convert.
  3. MckMamaMckMamaMy mom is here. Stellan had a great couple hours, as far as how he is tolerating his SVT.
    11:00 AM update - Click HERE

10:00 AM update! See Below!

Jennifer posted this on twitter 10 minutes ago:

MckMamaStellan had a very bad night. Some of my Tweets did not go through I see. He's getting an Echocardiogram now. New blog post coming soon.
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