Private Blog

I don't know how you guys do it, but it almost always gets me motivated to get on here and write a post.  Trust me, I am always thinking of post to write.  However, a thought is pretty much as far as it will get these days.  That for your benefit could be a good thing.

I have been getting more and more emails lately asking why I went private, or if I still plan to blog and can I send you an invite.  I thought I would fill you guys in with some answers.

1.  Private - I recently decided for a couple of reasons to go privately.  However, the biggest reason of this choice has been more of a professional reason.  I am considered a public figure.  I work in the public.  I am on TV and that is where I would like to grow in my professional career, TV/HOSTING.

After giving it much thought, I took the position that for now, while I am still a C-level actress trying to not only get my foot in the door, but keep it there, I decided it wasn't best 'professionally' to expose myself or my family, or share so much of my personal thoughts openly I was.

The argument I had with this for so long is that, I love to blog.  It gives me the chance to witness, talks about my God and make friends.  I love reading other blogs, praying for others and feeling connected in that way.

I want to be able to be a public figure and speak proudly and openly about my faith.  However, its a little hard to so when you are trying to "get it." I will not allow my career or my status or the "industries" opinion on people with faith shut me up, but I will try to walk this fine line of when it will be a little safer to open back up more freely again.

In the meantime, going private has allowed me to take some time off, without the pressure that I need to keep up and most as often.  Its allowed me to enjoy my summer with my family, focus on my marriage and learn how to get a little more of a healthier balance in my life.

2.  With that being said, YES, I do plan blogging again and continuing to blog. In fact, I want to point my career in a little different direction.  I am having new head shots done this year. I am having my website totally revamped and redone.  I am really exited. Its going to look up to date and fresh.  With that, I plan on adding a public blog section on that.  That blog will be more about the work industry of what I do.  Sort of let my fans and friends get the inside scoop of what I am doing as I am doing it.  Sort of like the ti-bit's I post on Facebook, but this way I can go into more detail and really bring you guys along.

3.  How do you get an invite and how can those not able to read my blog now, know they can get invited?  Its just going to be exactly how most of you have gotten the invite.  By emailing me and requesting an invite.  I don't need a huge following on here.  This blog is going to be real, raw, honest, inspirational, funny, my diary, my kids journals and simply MY SPACE!  One day it may be a letter to my kids, or a story that I wanted to keep.

So, if you have requested your invite, you are probably reading this post now.  THANK YOU and WELCOME.  I am honored to know that some how you have felt linked or connected or inspired or interested in things I have to share or say.

Oh, and feel free to spread the word.  I'll be a little guarded as to whom I invite.  I am not going to approve anyone and everyone that sends me their email address asking for an invite.  I want to keep this blog a little more intimate and feeling like a "small group" at a large function. As mega churches like to say, "as we grow, we still want to feel small."  If you want to come in, then step out and say hello.  Introduce yourself and let me get to know a little about you too.  I have had more people in the last couple of months that have come out to say hello that have never commented on my blog in the two years I have had it. That's crazy.  I have very much appreciated those of you that have taken the courage to step out and say hi to me.

Ill keep you posted on the new website and blog there so you can join in and show some support and love there.

Now, enough about that.

Lets talk about life.

Summer.   WOW, is all I can say.  Summer seriously flew by this year.  Yet, it felt just enough to allow me to be refreshed and ready to get going on the school year.

I can't believe my little man is going to the forth grade, and my baby girl is two-years old.  Does time continue to go by faster and faster, or will it slow back down? I am trying to figure out if its just us now, or if this is something to be expected.  Anyone want to share?

The hubby and I have been house hunting over the last couple of months.  Totally stressful.  You know, its starts out fun and all, then as you start realizing you can't afford all the homes that slip into your sight that you fall in love with, you start feeling stressed and pressured to move out of your budget a little more, extend a little more and we realize that is probably why there are so many people in debt.  Its SO hard to not get emotional about a home you love, or tell yourself you could move in it as is, which will be the same amount of work you would put into a home that isn't all done up that you would want to do work in eventually.  Take a deep breath, that was a long-winded and long run-on sentence. You know what I mean?   Lets not forget to mention that people that are on the selling end are in denial, still thinking they can price their home way above the market price.  Sadly, but true, there are some people out there that will buy into that trap and buy the homes, which in return ruins it for the other buyers, because then these sellers and realtors take that and run with it, trying to convince the buyers the market is going back up and try to pressure you into a price that is not in an honest ballpark for that home.   We are just going to pray about it and know that we are fortunate enough to even have this opportunity to be looking to purchase a new home.  We are blessed to both still be working.  It will work out the way its meant to work out. In the meantime, I am going to just stay focused on whats here in front of me today, like my healthy kids, my marriage building up (again) and my career having the opportunity to grow.

Hockey season is starting back up.  Tomorrow we have the first scrimmage of the season.  This year my little big man will experience his first season of check-hockey.  Hunter is very excited about that.  We are off to Disney on Sunday (just Hunter and I) along with his grandmother.  Its sort of like a makeup trip from our Disney trip last spring break that was totally ruined by rain storms.  Its going to be hot, but its our last little get away before the hectic schedules of hockey and school really kick in.  I look forward to spending some alone time with my 4th GRADER!!!!



Well... I could keep going and going, as I have much to catch you all up on, but instead I need to get in bed, for I have an early wake up time for hockey.

I hope you and yours enjoyed your summer and things are going well in your life.  Thanks for checking in on mine.

Goodnight.

When I get where I am going.

When I get where I'm going

On the far side of the sky

The first thing that I'm gonna do

Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion

And run my fingers through his mane

Or I might find out what it's like

To ride a drop of rain

Yeah when I get where I'm going

There'll be only happy tears

I will shed the sins and struggles

I have carried all these years

And I'll leave my heart wide open

I will love and have no fear

Yeah when I get where I'm going

Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy

And he'll match me step for step

And I'll tell him how I missed him

Every minute since he left

Then I'll hug his neck

So much pain and so much darkness

In this world we stumble through

All these questions I can't answer

So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going

And I see my maker's face

I'll stand forever in the light 

Of his amazing grace

Yeah when I get where I'm going

There'll be only happy tears

Hallelujah

I will love and have no fear

When I get where I'm going

Yeah when I get where I'm going

By: Brad Paisley

Just feeling these words today.  I am well. 

I'm not sure.

I know its been a long while since I last said hello or wrote on here.  To be honest, I have been so busy.  Summers are really busy for me, as I do most of my travels then, kids are home and life gets in a different groove than that of the school year.

I have received several emails from readers and friends checking in on me, praying for me and asking if I would be back anytime soon to blog again.  The answer to that is ...

I'm not sure!

I don't feel fully ready to say good-bye to blogging, but part of me feels that I also don't feel the 'urge' or the desire to blog as much.  Don't get me wrong, I love to blog.  I do. I do. I just feel that I need a little break. So maybe this is all this is, a break.  Maybe more.

I'm not sure.

Tonight, I had no plans of writing on here.  However, I sat down and browsed a couple of other blogs to get the latest on others and here I am.  I figured the least I could do is write and tell you that I am well. I know some of my last post prior to having taking a hiatus this long, brought some concerns and questions. I apologize for that.

I have been going through some trials and storms over the last several months, and still going through them. I am keeping my head up about things and just relying on God.  What else can I do, right?  I won't load down on you tonight with my laundry list of personal problems.  I just thank you for your support, friendship and prayers.

Speaking of travels, I recently traveled to Bahamas a week and half ago.  I filmed an episode of my old travel show I used to host 'Get Out.' I went to the beautiful Paradise Island to swim with stingrays, sharks and visit little islands surrounded with amazing blue waters.  It was a blast. My show should air in about 3-4 weeks on HD Net, so if you watch or follow the show check it out.  I am sad to say that 'Get Out' (well HD Net I should say) has turned a little 'unrated' it seems with Get Out, and so I won't be doing many of the shows in the future probably.  Lindsay also has left as the host of the show.  As unfortunate as that is (the show going in that direction) it was and has been an amazing experience all around.  As long as I am not asked to do anything unrated, I won't mind guest appearing time to time to have some fun and adventure.

Speaking of shows, I have recently auditioned to co-shot a new show, totally different from Get Out/ travel stuff.  I was called back for a second audition and I feel like I nailed it.  However, as anyone knows how this business goes, you never know.  I really think it would be an amazing gig to land and it would be something totally fitting for me.  If you would maybe add me on your prayer list that maybe this is in the plan (His plan) for me to land this new hosting position.  Thanks.

I was just in NYC this past weekend.  A little play and a little work.  I have yet to have a bad experience in NYC.  I love that city.  I enjoyed visiting my dear friend Blair, and walking her dog Bella A LOT! LOL. We took it easy and just enjoyed walks, dining out, a movie, girl talk and the parks.  I wish I could have stayed longer, but as I mentioned before I travel in the summer and so I am leaving in two days to Jackson Hole for a Baniewicz Family vacation.  Although, its summer and I am ready for the warm weather, we are headed to some pretty chilly to cold weather this week, and possible rain.  I don't mind it too much as the activity list planned for this trip looks amazing.  Check it out...

White water rafting down Snake River
A Dusk Safari
Eight mile bike ride
Horse Bike Riding
A ski lift to top of mountains to get a birds eye view of Gods beautiful creation
A sky gazing evening
A chuck-wagon ride into the forest for a dinner and entertainment by cowboys
Massages
Pool, tennis, ready, board games, art time and fishing on the down time.

Thats just a few of the things on our action packed list.  I look forward to seeing the kids enjoy and explore it all the most.

I'll be around for the first two weeks of July, then I'll be heading to Arizona to shoot with Kawasaki Jet Ski client again.  I look forward to that as I get to visit my brother and his family while there.  Ill take Morgan with me and my parents will drive up from Texas too, so I'll get to see them as well.  In between all of this, Ill be in Boston for a weekend and then Cape Code for a weekend.  Spend some time with my girl Lindsay and my boo while he is visiting his dad.

So there you go.  :)

I do still have one more book to giveaway of Plan B.  I hope to do that when I get back during that two week no travel period.  If the hosting gig is in my future, Ill start working and filming for that show just in the nick of time after all my travels. I promise to keep you posted on the outcome.  I actually hope to have a new blog to add along with a new hosting job.  Please pray.

And I know its a bad no-no to post with out adding pictures, but I have been posting so much on Facebook that all my photos are there.  I encourage you to find me there so you can always have the latest scoop. Just click on the Facebook link to the left of my blog and it will take you directly to my page.   I am in the works of an online campaign too, that will be mostly done on Facebook and Twitter, so if you have one please find me and follow me.

Okay-okay... so I really couldn't walk away without at least leaving you with one photo.

Morgan had her two-year check up a couple of weeks ago.  The doctor heard her murmur again.  The murmur that was gone once the heart defect healed up and closed up a year ago.  As we were told, the possibility of it returning has become our reality.  She does have a heart murmur.  It is innocent.  The pediatric heart doctor said that "she has two strings in a diagonal in the corner of one of the walls her heart.  Basically like guitar strings.  And said she has a musical heart."

I laughed and said "well she does love to sing and dance thats for sure." He looked over at Morgan whom was happily sucking on her reward lollipop and asked "do you like to sing?" Morgan with a proud and loud response said "YEAH!!!!!" And without a beat began to sing "Jesus Loves Me" to him. We both laughed, she loved the attention and off we went to finish out our day.

No mother likes to hear that the heart of your very child has something different going on than "normal." And although the murmur is innocent and "normal" so to speak, I do feel at total peace about it.  I said to God on the drive to her heart specialist appointment, "Lord, I have given my trust and my daughter over to you, as she is yours to begin with.  If their is anything going on with her heart, You already know about it.  I am given the gift of protecting it, guiding it and loving it. So I'll leave the rest of the plans of her heart in Your hands."  And that I will.



 


So, when will I be back to blog again?

I'm not sure.

Plan B (WINNER!) and stuff....

Congratulations to.......





 

I hope you enjoy it.

Not to worry.  I have ONE MORE BOOK to giveaway.  I am just thinking how I want to do this next giveaway.  Something creative and different than this last one.  Stay tuned.

I was outside and captured this little guy soaking up some sun the other day.  I thought it looked cool enough to post here, just because I can! 

 

Also, if you haven't been paying attention to my tweets or following me on Facebook (click button to left of blog post, since the new link setup they have here on blogger STINKS!), you missed out that I participated in a Model Beach Volleyball Tournament last weekend.  

 

As captain of the Green Agency, I would like to brag on my team a little.  We went in strong, ended the first day in the top seed bracket.  On Sunday, we lost a couple of guys and ended up with more losses than wins, eliminating us from the final rounds.  Although pretty bummed we lost the following.....

• Bragging rights for our modeling agency
• A trophy to have our agency name graved on it to pass it on next year
• A FREE trip for the entire team to a Nikki Beach resort somewhere tropical (besides Florida) 

We did have an amazing time.  I made some new friends, got a really painful sunburn and took some pretty cool pictures.  You can click HERE (again since the link setup isn't working here on blog, copy and paste link below in new browser to check out the photos!!!! 

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=171949&id=540996999&l=8e3909e5fd

I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!!!!  

Congrats again to Heather Matherne!!!  

(Just message me on Facebook your mailing address and I will get that book on its way to you!!! 

8:16 AM....

..... on April 14, 2008.

The moment you enter into this world and into my life forever and always.

The day I saw my little girls face, heard her cry and touched her skin.
The very day that made my life that much better and richer.
The day I would start a journey of learning more about myself as a girl, through loving my daughter.
The day I realized I still had room in my heart to love that much more.
The day I became a mom of a little boy and a little girl.


Dear Morgan,

Today, you turn two sweet butterfly. I can hardly believe it myself.  As you lay sleeping so sweetly in your crib.  I sneak in to grab one last look at you before writing this post.  You are curled up on your side, with your hands on each side of your face.  You are truly precious and so peaceful when you sleep. Sometimes I go in and just softly stroke your hair, just because I want to touch you one last time before I fall asleep.  Sometimes after I pray with you, I will go back in and pray over you while you sleep.  You have brought so much joy in this family.  You are so full of life, personality and laughter.  You are outgoing, so friendly and you make friends wherever you go.

You love, love, love to talk.  Its insane how much you can go on and on and on, talking in your own language.  Funny thing is, I understand a lot of it.  I have you on video camera talking on the phone and I can't wait to show you when you are older. You are so big. Your hair has grown like crazy over the last year.  Its beautiful too.  The perfect shade of sandy beach blond, so soft and the cutest curls at the end. I love when the wind blows it in your face and you take both hands at the same time, cover your entire face up with your hands and push the hair back out of your face.

You love playing, singing and DANCING most. You love your brother and really love to make him laugh.  You vocabulary is amazing.  It amazes me how much you can understand at only two years old.  I still can't believe I just said "two-years-old!"  Where has the time gone?

My sweet little girl.  You are simply beautiful.  I know we are celebrating your special 2nd birthday, but inside I am celebrating all over again the gift that God placed in my life, when he breathed life into.  I will say this any chance I get "I am so honored to have been chosen to be your mother." WOW! What an honor that is. God has chosen you, and HE has a plan for your life....and yet HE chose ME, with all my baggage, my flaws and my imperfections as a human being, to me YOUR mother.

Sometimes I can imagine you grown up already, and looking into those blue eyes and just talking about life and memories.  You are a special little girl.

You are obsessed with shoes.  And I am not kidding.  You wake up and the first thing you want is to pick out a pair of shoes to put on.  You have a pile of "play" shoes, in which you rotate through them all day long, if it be rain boots, cowgirl boots, high heels, flip flops, moms 'big shoes' or sneakers. You love being girly.  You love wearing dresses, letting my blow dry your hair and paint your 'pretties' finger nails.

I remember the first time you said "I wuv you"... you were getting reading to go some where with daddy.  I was putting you in the car seat and out of nowhere, all on your own, you say "I wuv you." It took both your dad and I by such surprise.  It totally melted my heart.  I still get butterflies in my tummy thinking about that very moment. You wake up and you say "good morning" with a smile.

You are also really figuring out how to do the full body tantrums.  You are surely a strong child and with a feisty personality.  Right now it can be a challenge because there is no negotiating when you go into a full blown tantrum, but I know if we direct it in the right direction all that strength you show, we will make a strong women out of you.

You love watching Dora, Elmo, Scooby-Doo and Wizard of Oz. You say "Oz" when you want to watch Wizard of Oz, and you say "Da Da Da Dora" when you want to watch Dora.  And 'da da da Dora" is the theme song that you sing off.  You love books. You love to be outside.  You love to look at and touch every tree you see.  YOu give them hugs and look to see if you can find a bug on each tree.  It takes a long time to make it around the block on our walks for that very reason.  You love chasing the ducks out of the back yard. You love to play with balls.

Baby girl... there is so much I want to write down and not forget about you at this sweet age of two years old.  You are my best girl, my love bug, my princess, my rainbow, my garden, my sweet butterfly.

Happy Birthday My Love.