Not Me, Monday! (Perfect, Mother's Day!)

You know the drill.  My Monday posts, I get to tell you all about the things that I did didn't do.  

If you want more (and who doesn't ever want more?)  head over to MckMama's blog and feast on all the Not Me, Mondays.  Drool over her many mckchildren and say hi.  

WAIT!

Don't forget to read my post first silly and leave me a comment, THEN head over to MckMama's blog.  

I absolutely did not have the most perfect Mother's Day a girl could ask for.  I am being serious here.  I didn't wake up to both my boys making me a nice southern hot breakfast, that included eggs, crispy bacon, biscuts, gravy and home fries.  (Mmmmm....... Oh wait, yea that didn't happen.)

It also was not me that got greeted with smiles from all my favorite people, along with some beautiful flowers, a poem, a song, four cards and a gift Visa card, so that I could go shopping for Mother's Day.  (Sweet!.....wait, that didn't happen either.)

Of course I surely did not witness my Butterfly take more and more steps without help today. She is no way close to walking.  (Whoo-hoo!..... you got it, that didn't happen either.)

Wouldn't that be nice and a pretty good day alone, if any of that actually happened?  Too bad it didn't happen or it would have been a pretty darn good Mother's Day.

But wait.  

It totally was not me and my family of four, that then, full belly's and all, at nine something in the morning, still in pj's, that was jamming out on Rock Band.  In which I totally rocked!  (Nah!....It was not me!)

Oh and by the way, it so was NOT ME that got a back massage just before getting left alone to take a THREE HOUR NAP.  (JACK POT!..... yea, if that actually happened in which is so didn't.)

I mean seriously, could you imagined what a perfect day that would have been?  

Think about this.  

After that THREE HOUR NAP (had I really taken one, that is).  I woke to Butterfly sitting in her playpen, in the middle of the garage, jamming out to some Pearl Jam with daddy, while he washed MY car???  (AAAHHHH.... wake me up, because we know that didn't happen.)

Pinch me please.  

Because, I also patted myself on the back for my one day of cleaning up pee after pee on my floors, got rid of my daughters pesky diaper rash in one day.  

And it so was not me who then found out, that after sitting in the heat and a unknown 3rd poopy diaper with daddy today in the garage,  that pesky diaper rash came back (and 3x worse).

And truthfully it was NOT ME, that discovered her poopy diaper by accidentally putting my figure inside of um...the mess, while trying to pull out her diaper wedge, she almost always seems to get if daddy puts on her diaper.  (GROSS!... yes, it would be. Im so glad that was not me.)

It also wasn't me that cleaned out a stinky litter box, because my two old boys are getting lazy at covering up their, um.... 'mess'. While it was not me cleaning up poop from cats, and both poop and pee from a toddler with a diaper rash etc.  I am just thankful that I also didn't have to walk into the house to see cat puke on my kitchen floor and a little girl standing in the living area on my nice shaggy rug, looking down at the pee running down her legs.  (Wiping Forehead.... so thankful that was not me!) 

After all it's Mother's Day, I don't have to do "mothering" things today, right? (Not Me!)

To end such a perfect Mother's Day.  My family DID go to church, and with out any planning at all, everyone (but me) came out wearing pink tops.  I know, pretty cute right? I thought so anyways.  

After hearing a rock'in message at church, baby girl didn't come out of her daycare class with a missing hair bow.  (Darn it!..... I mean that would really stink if that had happened.)

But we did decide to eat at Carrabba's for dinner.  In which baby girl did learn to color for the first time, instead of eating the crayons.  Also, while it being her first time to have her own real dinner plate ordered for her to eat from.  It was so cute watching her color and eat her own dish.  She is getting to be such a big girl.

While my big boy, was being such a BIG boy....sneaking off now and then to go sit at the bar to sneak in Vodka drinks the score of the Bruins game on the TV.  (Oh and peppermints too!)

Getting to enjoy a nice italian meal with my family on Mother's Day, it however, was NOT ME that took my daughter into the bathroom to change her diaper and check on her rash; only to discover that her diaper was on backwards.  I mean who would do that?  Or, what kind of church do I attend here?  (Thats pretty funny!..... to think that could have happened, but didn't.)

Getting home a little after nine, honey goes out to clean the windows on the car (again) because on the way home the windows looked as though you were looking through a kaleidoscope.  (Oh wait,.....yea, that didn't happen because as I already said, honey so did not wash my car. You are finally catching on here.)

Finally, getting baby girl down for the night.  It was NOT ME, that dressed her bed up in layers, while laying a towel across my lap, to have fed her a bedtime bottle with a bare bottom, so she could sleep naked, to fight that pesky diaper rash.  (Right! Right! ....you are quick and smart.  Of course that didn't happen, I got rid of that rash in one day last week, remember?) 

Just making sure you are keeping track of all the things that DID or DIDN'T happen, and all the so "NOT ME's!!!"

Do you agree that because of all those things that could have happened, (but, obviously didn't) made a PERFECT MOTHER'S DAY???

However, I am VERY disappointed to say, actually I am not disappointed because it so was NOT ME that didn't take one-single-photo today of my kids, my family or me with my family, on this PERFECT MOTHER'S DAY.  Ugh!!! It was not me! (Sigh!.....Banging head on table, wall and anything hard I can find.)

Not to worry, I would not do that to YOU.  I would not think about writing such a picture-less post.  

So instead, because I needed a reason to post these anyways.  I am giving you some adorable bare naked bottom shots of Morgan, being ever so cute with her chunky and delicious thunder thighs baby rolls, that I took the other day, trying to get rid of this pesky diaper rash she has had. 

Okay, I'm busted.  Anything I said so didn't happen, SO DID.  And even so, it still was absolutely the most PERFECT MOTHER'S DAY....EV--RRRRHHH!!!!

{Morgan LOVES to go into her bubba's room when he is at school, to play with his cars, baseballs and books.  So, while I was hoping and praying she didn't pee on his carpet, after being so fortunate all day that the two times she did pee, she peed on the hard floor that was easy to clean up. I decided to take some photos of her bare bum. Its not often I get to actually see it all exposed and so cute, other than giving her a bath or changing her diaper. I had so many cute ones, but chose the PG-rated 'safe' ones to share with all of you. If that's even fair to say, after all I am exposing my precious little girls naked bum.}

Hope all you moms had your own Perfect Mother's Day!