I know its been awhile. Probably the longest "awhile" I have had from posting or reading blogs. I have to admit that it felt pretty good. In truth, I think I have a bit of blogging addiction. I think about it all the time. I am constantly coming up with topics to write about. Don't take it the wrong way, I am not constantly trying to think of topics, my mind is just constantly thinking of topics without any help. I love to write and I wish I were a more talented writer. I wish I had a better understanding of proper grammar and writing rules. I wish I could captivate people with my words and say I have a talent for it, but in truth I am just average.
But I do enjoy it.
Regardless, I felt that I was putting a lot of my personal time into 'keeping up' with blogging. Not that my post took that much time, it was the time it took to constantly edit photos, read other blogs, comment on other blogs and before I knew it, my day had passed by. Then I found myself frustrated because nothing got done around the house and I like things to be clean and orderly. Its one of those things I have always been obsessed with. Its either from my upbringing, living in a small house, with a small room, that the only way I felt I had any sense of space and organization in my life, was to keep things tidy, in its place and CLEAN. Or I have control issues, OCD or something I am unaware of. HA!
If my home starts to get unraveled and messy, its starts to takes its toll on me. I have tried to train myself to back off a bit and I have gotten better, but not over it. I still have to have things a certain way. I guess its better than being a slob right?
However, it was not always easy to stay away or not be tempted to jump on and start blogging. Traveling to Texas, being around family, friends and staying busy helped a great deal. When I am home, this is my place of escape. My entertainment, aside from my kids and my adult interaction. If I don't blog, I can tend to annoy my husband at work with my non-stop texting, just looking for a little bit of attention, or adult conversation, anything really to keep me from feeling so depressed, lonely and imprisoned to my home as a stay-at-home mom.
I love being home with my kids. I love dedicating and giving up things in my life to be home with my kids. I am blessed I have that choice. BUT, there are many moments and days that seem to just never end with crying, fits, spills, dirty diapers, laundry, cat hair, dust, dirt, messy beds, dishes, making food, feeding kids, washing dishes, changing diapers and doing it all over again about three to five times a day. Those days can really, really suck life right out of you at times. That's been me lately, and I found myself waking up and crying for no reason at all. I started to watch myself become more and more sad and depressed feeling. Then to read so many other sad stories on the blogs, I would feel humbled and thankful for my own blessings, but then some how feel even more depressed and sad about others dealing with such horrible things in their lives, like the loss of a child.
I realized quickly that I needed to take a break and get my head clear, and do so quickly. I am sure many of you can relate, and I feel safe enough here to come clean and be honest here and say the truth of what is going on in my personal world. Right now I need a little action in my life outside of this home. Being home in Texas around people every day to talk and hang with was so refreshing. Waking up back here in Florida Monday morning was a quick dose of reality that I wasn't in
Kansas Texas anymore.
My trip to Texas was a much needed little vacation.
Although, I am quickly learning that my vacations I plan in my head (travel with kids) never seem to be as I imagined them to be. Its almost like parents need a vacation, after the family vacation. Its a lot of work to travel with kids. Ill get more into that in another post. I just wanted to let you know that I am okay. I have gotten a few emails asking me if all was okay or that my post were being missed. I have to admit, I got way more emails checking in on me than I would have ever imagined. I know my blog gets anywhere from 200 plus hits a day, with 174 followers, with only about 10 of you that loyally leave me comments, but when I go MIA for a little bit and I have some come hunting me down...that's feels kind of good. Maybe I will have a 'get to know YOU' post one day, giving all of you a chance to introduce yourselves to me, so I can get to know a little about you and what you enjoy about my blog? Maybe I will find something creative to motivate you all to come out of your own hiding and say hello to me. I know you are reading, but you never say hello.
You see how it just happens naturally? I tell you, my mind is always thinking of post to write. You should see the list that is growing and the none stop pictures I have piling up on me, taking up all my space on my computer. Because, I just know I will want to post them one day, so I don't delete them. Sigh. I have a list on my 'notes' app on my iPhone of all the post I plan on writing. Before I never did that. I just posted as they came to me. Now I make a list and find that my list is growing faster than I can post. What gives?
Okay, N-E-WAYS...(going old school on you).
I am okay.
Thank you for checking in on me and letting me know that my company even via blogspot.com, is enjoyed and has been missed by you. That makes a girl feel a little less lonely (a little).
So, what is up with the title "Blankets For Hope?"
I am glad you asked.
A blog reader of mine was moved by me volunteering my time at the hospital photographing terminally ill children. She and her mother make handmade and homemade blankets to give to children in need of hope. They call them "Blankets For Hope".
She contacted me and said she would like to send me some to give to some babies at the hospital. I was so wonderfully surprised that it gave me chills to know that someone was willing to devote their own personal time to make something by hand, to send to me, so that I could give to a child that was sick, and possibly dying. She wanted to remain anonymous, but I didn't want it to go unmentioned on my blog about these beautiful blankets that arrived at my door yesterday.
Tomorrow, I will be going down to the hospital just to catch up, say hi to some special people and see if there are any new faces to meet. While Amanda passed away while I was in Texas last week, my heart has been heavy. Today, opening this box of blankets and knowing I will be at the hospital tomorrow, cheered me up and put a smile on my face. I can't wait to give them out.
Take a look at these beautiful blankets.
I want to thank you "B" and your mom, for your generous gift to me, and these children. This is a very special and beautiful thing you are doing to spread love, kindness and HOPE around the world.