Dear Morgan Paige ~
Tell me it isn't so.
Can it really be?
Where has the time gone, Butterfly?
Little precious girl where do I even start?
I have so much I want to say, but as I sit here trying to type this letter/post to you, my thoughts seems to be everywhere. Part of me wants to start from the beginning and post a picture for every month of this past year. Looking back on each little growth, step and accomplishment you have made. Maybe I will do that for the family photo album instead and keep this letter to YOU, and not a post about you, for everyone else to read.
Morgan, this letter is to you.
I want to tell you about all the joys you have brought to my life as a mother for the last 12 months. Hang on, as I better grab the tissue box because the eyes are already starting to fill with tears. I don't know why, but mom has been so emotional over the last few months. I feel that I have become so soft and sensitive to everything and can cry at the smallest of things. Although, that may be true, I have become a big softy since becoming a first time mom 8 years ago to your big brother, but the reason I am such a softy tonight as I write this letter, isn't small at all.
In truth baby girl, my eyes only fill up with the love and joy that my heart overflows with and can't contain. The love that continues to grow inside me every single day, and often 100 times a day. I have fallen to madly and deeply in love with you that when I stop and think about it, it really does take my breath away.
You my Butterfly, you have made our family whole. There isn't a day..... not one single day little girl, that you don't either make us smile or have us cracking up in belly laughs. They say laughter keeps you young, and I have to say that if that were the case I would be an infant again, because baby girl you bring that much sunshine and joy into my life, your daddy's life and your brothers life. We love you so, so, so much. You are truly daddy's little girl, sent here from heaven, and you have captured all of our hearts with your smile, laughter and beauty.
Today is your birthday.
On April 14, 2008, 8:04 AM, YOU, little Morgan Paige, changed our family for the better forever.
Looking back and seeing how big you are today baby girl, AMAZES me. You have accomplished so many milestones. You are saying words like mama, dada, bubba, ba-bab (bottle), genta (gentle when petty kitties), hi, bye-bye (while either waving your hand or clamping in open and closed), and recently you are trying to say 'choo-choo', because you like the song on the Disney channel "Choo Choo Soul".
It goes like this...
All aboard the choo-choo train
All aboard the choo-choo train......
All aboard the choo-choo train
All aboard the choo-choo train......
All aboard the choo-choo train...
All aboard. All aboard.
Speaking of songs.
Butterfly, I have to admit, I have never seen a baby with as much 'real' rhythm as you. Yes, almost all babies tend to have a little rhythm, where they can bounce or rock to in a little rhythm or pattern. However, YOU, little girl... you got some "ChooChoo Soul" in you. You love music, and when it comes on you row your belly, sway your head and move your shoulders in real motion and true dancing rhythm. Its really one of my favorite things about you right now. I can't wait to see you dancing around the house doing routines, and or you and I even taking some fun dance class at the gym. Between my love for dancing and your daddy's love for music.... your options are many and your future is bright.
Another one of my favorite things about you is your hair. The color of it, the little curls flipping up in the back and the smell of it after your baths. Boy, do you love your baths!
You no longer drink bottles, another than the one before nap and bedtime. Mom went cold turkey on you April 1st, but you haven't once complained about it. You are doing great with sippy-cups and love it when I let you drink from a straw. You are such a big girl. You are getting much, much better with eating foods with chunks in it. Like mommy, you have a hypersensitive gag reflex, and for the longest time anything having the slightest little texture or chunk in it, you would gag. When I say gag, I don't mean like a little gag and then its' done with. I mean the very dramatic gagging kind of gag, to where it normally ends up in massive puking explosions. Or the kind of gagging to make ones heart drop, frightened because I think you are seriously choking and I yank you up from your seat ready to turn you upside down and pound your back. A few of those can take me from that belly laugh infant age, to a senior citizen in a matter of seconds. My worst fear is that one time its going to be a real choking situation, and I just hope that my practice over the last 12 months pays off.
You love, love, love your brown teddy bear, and that is one I almost forgot. You try to say 'teddy', and it comes out more like 'te-te' and its one of the cutest things in the world. The way you kiss, snuggle up to and carry around Mr. Teddy, is just too precious for words. You also love to lay your head on Milo and feel his soft fur against your face. You have learned quickly the word gentle and you pet him just so.
Recently, you have figured out how to take your bows out of your hair and so now its getting almost impossible to keep them in your hair. After your baths at night you like taking the brush and trying to brush your hair. You really understand, and you really do try to brush your hair. In fact you DO brush your hair, the only difference is that you brush your hair in a different direction as mommy does, but I can see many days in the future in which we will disagree as to which way your hair should go. This is only the beginning. (laughing)
Baby girl, I can't forget to mention how sweet you are. You love to give kisses, and everyone that meets you or knows you, says you are just the happiest baby. That you really are. You are like the dream child. You are easy, funny, sweet and just an easy child. We say that you are either making up for the hard pregnancy you put mommy through, or your are the calm before the storm. Meaning preparing us for the teen years. LOL. Just kidding baby girl.... with all joking aside, you are truly are an angel child.
You sleep great. Your teething has been a breeze for the most part and you have been so healthy. A little cold or fever here and there..but Ill take that any day compared to what it could have been.
As I start to wrap this letter up, I have to stop for a minute and take a deep breath in. While saying a prayer and being thankful, that I have the honor and blessing to write this letter to my little girl. I think of sweet Cora Paige, and so many other little ones that are no longer with us, and other mom and dads with severely broken hearts from the loss of a child. I am thankful for your life, your love, your health and thankful to God for blessing me with my little girl. My Butterfly!
I constantly remind myself that you are not in my life, but that I am simply in YOUR life. You are God's gift to me. He favored me with you, to be your advocate for HIM. I am honored to be a part of HIS plans for YOU. I am honored to be called your MOTHER. I am honored to be given the trust and the ability to raise you up to honor GOD. I am THANKFUL.
Before I go, I have to mention just how much your daddy and brother love you. You are one special and lucky girl let me tell you. To have such good looking men in your life that practically worship the little ground you crawl on. You have stolen the hearts of both your daddy and brother. They adore you. They cherish you. They glow when looking at you. Its the best just to watch you with them. My life here on earth feels whole when you, your daddy, Hunter and kitties are all together as a family at the same time. I feel completely and totally relaxed when I am surrounded by all of you and have everyone sleeping under the same roof.
Oh by the way, speaking of crawling. You still mainly get around by crawling, but you are furniture cruising more and more. Over the last week you have bravely attempted to take a step on your own hands free. You get the biggest and most exciting expression on your face, so proud, as you should be, each time you try to take that step. You are so close to walking baby girl, and part of me is so excited for that moment and accomplishment, but then at the same time I am in no rush. Part of me feels that the crawling stuff still keeps you a baby, and not yet a toddler. I am not ready for you to grow up that fast.
Today is your BIRTHDAY.
Thursday all your grandparents are coming to town for the weekend. We are going to have a little party for you then, go bowling and see your brother play a double header this weekend. Its going to be so fun. I can't wait for granny, papa, Papa-Mark and Nana-Jan, see how much you have grown, how tall you are, all the teeth you have and the head full of hair you have grown as well.
You are one loved little butterfly.
For each month of this past year baby girl.... You give butterfly kisses.
One ~ April 14, 2008, one of the best days of my life.
Two ~ Two weeks old you were in your first movie "Marley & Me".
Three ~ Counting me, your daddy and your brother.... Three hearts you have won over and over again.
Four ~ Four makes our family complete.
Five ~ You say five words very clearly.
Six ~ The age when you broke in your first tooth.
Seven ~ Seven months you started to sit up on your own.
Eight ~ You got your ears pierced (twice), flew to NY for the first time and had your first Christmas.
Nine ~ You met your great grandparents for the first time and went on your first cruise to Mexico.
Ten ~ Pulled yourself up to a standing position for the first time on Valentines day in Chicago, while at your brothers hockey tournament.
Eleven ~ You started putting the phone up to your ear and talking on it.
Twelve ~ Recently have started to take steps on your own. Eating meals like the rest of the family. No more bottles.
Thank you for 12 beautiful and wonderful months baby girl. Thank you.
We love you so much.
You are LOVED.
Love Always and Forever....
Happy First Birthday Butterfly!