Looking back, its been a year or more since I last blogged on here. I had mentioned to my three or four blogging follower/fans/friends on Facebook that I would start back to blogging this year. Or at least that I wanted to. I knew that if I didn't get in one post, that I would procrastinate, get lazy and then the blogging would fall further and further down on my "to do" list. So here I am...
Are you ready to tackle on 2012? I am.
I don't know about you but 2011 was extremely busy for me. Lets see, at the beginning of the year my daughter at tubes placed in her ears. We since then purchased a house, renting the other house and moved. Moving is never fun and always brings many stresses, but I can say now that its done and over with it. Whew! I was hospitalized twice, once for gallbladder removal and the other was from a flare up. A Chron's flare up. Yes, I was also diagnosed with Chron's disease this past summer of 2011. As if that wasn't enough, my son had a really bad experience at being bullied by kids 5 years older than him from his school hockey team. Hunter at the time 10 years old, a 5th grader was given special permission to play up on the middle school hockey team because he was the only 5th grader student that plays hockey at his private school. My son isn't one to backdown easily, and I instill in him to protect kids that are being bullied and to never bully anyone himself. He is popular among his peers, and the teachers and parents rave about how sweet, charming and caring he is. And he is all of that. I was angry, shocked and frankly pissed off when I learned that my son was the one being bullied for almost 2 months. He didn't say anything about it for so long. But I could tell things where on his mind just by comments he would make here and there. Finally, he had enough and he was starting to feel angry and scared. I finally spent a night laying in the dark of his room next to him in bed, listening to him for an hour tell me things he was embarrassed by, upset by and afraid of that he was experiencing alone by four high school kids on his hockey team. Lets just say that I didn't sleep at all that night. My heart was on fire and burning for my son. It was not minor teasing or getting picked on by older boys in the locker room. It was full on hazing, harassing, bulling and in my opinion criminal. Ill save the details for now.
I did however address the situation first thing in the morning. His father and I put together a letter of the details we knew to the headmaster of the school. The boys were questioned, nothing was denied, and a few days later a parent/staff was called to meet and the middle school hockey team was discontinued for the year. Not that all students were being punished, this was my first thought too. It basically came down to the the boys were probably being suspended or taken off the team and it left the team short of players to continue. I was thankful how serious the school took the situation, how they handled it and how quick it was resolved. Although, I was a bit shocked and disappointed to learn through Hunters father and my husband, whom attended the meeting because I was hospitalized my second time that same day. That the parents of the boys were not apologetic, nor did they have any remorse or empathy. They were simply upset that their sons wheren't getting to play hockey for the rest of the season vs their behavior towards a child that was 5 years younger than they. What's wrong with parents these days? Not to forget to mention, we also learned that there were other things that occurred to my son that my son hadn't mentioned to me. So upsetting! So my son lost his hockey team and had to start on a new team in the middle of the season outside of his school. That is a lot for anyone to take on, especially a 10 year old boy.
As if that wasn't enough, I also had surgery on both my feet recently. It was a long planned surgery of bunion removal on my feet that was supposed to have been done over the summer. It was pushed back when I became ill and landed in ICU at the hospital for 9 days. What a horrible experience (and scary) that situation was. I am thankful its behind me in 2011.
I told you I was ready for 2012.
I am ready to take on a new healthier year. A physically healthier year for my daughter and I. An emotionally, mentally and physically healthier year for my son. I am still very thankful for 2011 as there were way more blessings and things to be grateful than all the negatives I listed here. WIth that being said, this is what I have in mind for 2012.
No, its not a new year resolution or anything like that. I've decided that I don't "do" resolutions, only to fail them in the first few days or weeks. Instead, I make a resolution just about every day. Why everyday? Because I will make plans or strive for goals but I know I will ultimately slip and break them from time to time. When I do fail along the way, I don't feel that all those days, weeks or months passed have been a complete waste now. It makes it way too easy to quit this way. Making daily resolutions, I don't lose anything and I simply start over right then and there or the next day. Which ever the situation allows me. Example: Make a resolution to be more patient. You probably lose your patience in three days. You try again and you mess up again. Then again and again over the course of the year. Before you know it, you tell yourself you messed up too many times that you give up and quit trying all together. My example is this. Simply make a resolution today that you will be more patient and see how it goes. If goes well, great. Next day the same thing. And so on and so on.... but if you mess up here and there.... just mark it off that TODAY'S resolution was a squash and make a new one right then and there.
My start for today, yesterday and tomorrow is simply 'Servanthood'.
I want to serve people more. I want to find myself more like Jesus and serve others without feeling I need something in return. That's hard for us 'all about me' humans. We too often find ourselves upset and frustrated that we aren't receiving the kind of treatment, efforts, appreciation, energy or loyalty from those that we are giving all those things to. And then it becomes about us and not what we are doing for others and it robs us of the joy that could be in these moments. I have had a couple of friends on Facebook comment on their status updates experiencing moments of frustration. Feeling being taken advantage of, or let down or unappreciated of their works, their efforts given. If we try to look at ourselves as servants and not as "friends doing friends favors".....we will slowly start being content and happy just doing, without needing or wanting those "unspoken rules and wishes" we have of being treated the same way in return.
The GOLDEN RULE - "treat others how you WANT to be treat!" That doesn't say, treat people the way you want them to treat you and then expect them to treat you that way. You will almost ALWAYS be disappointed. People will fail you. They are humans. Its not personal. It's simply they are sinners as you and I and their hearts are also focused on themselves. Its natural and the human heart by nature. Treat others how you want to be treated is the golden rule, but simply treat others Christ like and simply do so for the GLORY OF GOD!!!
Be a servant to anyone that you come in contact with simply because you choose to and for the Glory of God. If you can practice doing this, and believe me it takes practice, prayer, God given strength and effort. Then you will see a little at a time that you are not feeling so let down as much. And on the days you do feel let down or frustrated, you will move passed it sooner and not hold on to and linger on the matter. Simply remind yourself you are a servant. Ask yourself what is is you are wanting in that moment that's making you feel disappointed or let down by someone. You will quickly see that it all comes down to the "ME SYNDROME" again. "I'm not getting..... I don't feel.....I just wish......". Stop and remind yourself who it is that you are doing everything that you are doing for... to GLORIFY GOD! And then count all your blessings from HIM and you soon feel humbled because you realize God has been MORE merciful, graceful and abundantly giving to you than you have toward that person that's letting you down. God doesn't have to be servant like to us, but his whole life has been about servanthood. And he lived the perfect life.
Read this little message I read today in my devotional. I thought it was perfect and very fitting for my first post of the new 2012 year.
Happy New Year!