dear sweet child of mine.....

If I could put into words what I would want to say to you yesterday, today and tomorrow, it would be this:

WHAT I WOULD TELL YOU:

(If I knew what to say.)

You are a miracle.

And I have to love you this fiercely: So that you can feel it even after you leave for school, or even while you are asleep, or even after your childhood becomes a memory.

You’ll forget all this when you grow up. But it’s okay.

Being a mother means having your heart broken.

And it means loving and losing and falling apart and coming back together.

And it’s the best there is. And also, sometimes, the worst.

Sometimes you won’t have anyone to talk to.

Sometimes you’ll wonder if you’ve forgotten who you are.

But you must remember this: What you’re doing matters.

And you have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.

The truth is, being a mother is a gift. Tenderness is a gift. Intimacy is a gift. And nurturing the good in this world is a nothing short of a privilege.

That’s why I have to love you this way. So I can give what I have to you. So that you can carry it in your body and pass it on.

I have watched you sleep. I’ve kissed you a million times. And I know something that you don’t, yet:

You are writing the story of your only life every single minute of every day.

And my greatest hope for you, sweet child, is that I can teach you how to write a good one.

I borrowed these words and video from this blog. But I mean every bit of it.

the love of a boy...

Just to show you that kids aren't always unaware of things in this world. Hunter has questioned and cared much about the lives in Haiti.

He and his grandmother put their great minds together and this is what they came up with, in effort to raise some relief funds.

Hunter drew a picture of a puppy face, and his grandmother had them made into cards. He has been selling this custom made cards to folks for $2.50 a card.

How cool is that?

What a response everyone has had to these cards. Some have purchased them in bulks. His teachers at school, our friends and of course myself.

I couldn't be more proud of my beautiful boy.

I am not on here promoting to sell them. However, if you do feel you want to purchase any, you can contact me and we will make it happen. I just wanted to share with you the love of a boy, my boy!

He even signed them with his signature.

christmas (came) early

He leaves this afternoon and heads to Cape Cod tomorrow with dad, so we thought we would let him do Christmas with us a little early.

Our family tradition that has come from Mark's childhood family tradition, is to read from the book of Luke on Christmas morning, about the birth of Jesus. The last few years we have let Hunter be the one to read the story from the bible and he will until his sister is old enough to rotate and read with him.

{Hunter reading to us the birth of Jesus}

This year Hunter requested a 'big boy' bible of his own. The one he has is for 'little boys' and so with the gift money from Nana Jan and Papa Mark Baniewicz, Mark was able to find this fabulous boys bible. If you have young boys, this is a must have boy bible. I absolutely love it.

For each book of the bible, it tells you who are the authors of writing that book and the purpose of that book in the bible. It really breaks things down for them to understand things, but its cool enough and laid out in an adult fashion that they are getting a very "grown up" book.

{His new boys bible}

{can be found on Amazon}

Then after unwrapping many 'Red Sox" things like a beanie cap, beach towel, backpack.....

He opened up his BIG Christmas gift of the year.

An autographed travel jersey that was actually worn during season of 2009 by Red Sox pitcher, Clay Buchholz.

{The actual jersey worn by Clay here....}

{...is now being worn by my 9-year-old son!!!}

Think he is happy?

My good friend and old roommate and her now husband, Clay Buchholz, went over and beyond to make this such a special Red Sox Christmas for this little guy. Lindsay lived with us when Hunter was about two-years-old. Just a little guy.

The message from Clay says:

Hunter,

This is a game-used jersey!

Thanks for being the biggest Sox fan!

Best Wishes!

Clay Buchholz #61

Remember this post and this post? See how fun it is during baseball season in our home?

{Morgan had to give it a twirl too!}

And to add a little more fun to it all. I put a lot of thought and heart into finding our families stockings. Did I want matching ones that looked all nice and pretty displayed for people to see? Or did I want to get stockings for each of our personalities that would be fun and make for great conversation pieces when people came into our home?

Exactly!!

I wanted something unique and something that you won't see in many homes!

A Red Sox and a Yankees Christmas stocking hanging side by side during the Christmas holidays!

By the way....

Clay and Lindsay are officially married as of November 14th, 2009. I was so bummed to miss the wedding, but it was a beautiful fairy-tale wedding for my girlfriend, Mrs. Lindsay Clubine Buchholz.

To see more photos, friend Lindsay on Facebook here. Also, Ill be posting all my Christmas photos on Facebook as well, so if you haven't already, come friend me here.

Dear Clay and Lindsay,

I can't put into words how thankful I am to the both of you for making this special Red Sox Christmas take place for (as Clay said it) the BIGGEST Red Sox fan!! He was so surprised and full of smiles while reading the message Clay wrote to him on the back. For you guys it was a special treat doing this for Hunter. For Hunter, it is something that he will be able to cherish and keep for the rest of his life..... even if you (Clay) get traded to some other team. To him (and a lot of us) you will always be a Red Sox player first.

Congratulations to you both again on your wedding. Thank you so much for a magical Christmas for a 9-year-old boy. Lindsay, you have gotten to watch him grow into this little man he is today. I can't wait to watch the same when you guys start growing a family of your own.

Merry Christmas to you guys.

And a Merry Christmas to all of YOU reading this here today.

God Bless!

Kool Kat

Do you have a too cool for anything, Kool Kat?

I do.

He is about 4 ft something tall, with a little body of an 21 year old young adult. I tell you, my 8 year old, soon to be nine has muscles and defined in all the right places already. Sometimes he will be playing with his sister with only his pj bottoms on and I am like, "the kid has abs, what the heck?"

Not only do I see him physically changing right before my very eyes and morphing into the this teenage looking body that God has indeed blessed him with. I am also watching him grow into the young boy and adult that God has planned for him to be.

He is trying very hard over the last few weeks to be responsible. Being responsible as in helping around the house, doing chores, waking himself up in the mornings with his own alarm clock. Other things like choosing healthy foods over bad foods.

As I mentioned on Twitter the other day, I had a parent/teacher conference this last Monday with his teacher. Before I go into detail about what she had to say about Hunter, let me just boast a second here about her.

For now we will call her Mrs. L.

Mrs. L. was meant to be a teacher and boy am I ever thankful she is Hunter's third grade teacher. This lady and young mom herself really enjoys her job, really cares about the well being and knowledge of the children in her classroom. I have met with her on a few different occasions and each time I can truly see her passion for teaching and growing her students to be the best kids they can be. You don't find many teacher that have that much passion for really caring as much about their students as this teacher does. I admire that quality in her.

It was probably one of the best teacher/parent meetings I have ever had. Not that any of the meetings in the past were negative, nothing like that. There was just something different over all about the way this teacher spoke about Hunter. There has only been one other teacher I felt "got Hunter" and that was his kindergarten teacher Mrs. D.

Mrs. L. expressed how Hunter was such a wonderful student. That she has no issues of any kind out of him. He is always the first to volunteer to help her or his peers out. He is friendly to everyone, and seems to be a magnet for drawing in everyone else around him. He does well in leadership, he is sensitive to looking out for those maybe a little weaker (defending anyone getting picked on). She always calls on Hunter to use as an example in class.

As for his academics go, he is well advanced in every subject. He loves to do his work, and really gives 100% at all he does. His handwriting is so neat and (mommy word) cute.

I told Mrs. L. that I often feel like I am a neglectful mom because Hunter never seems to want or ask my help with his homework. She said it is because he really doesn't need help, but that they are looking into more homework that will be more challenging to those children (like Hunter) who are ahead and learn fast, so that they continue to learn and not get bored with their work.

As of this week, Hunter was chosen as Citizen of the Week (or is month is 3rd grade?). Not sure. Either way, he came home with the great news today. He loves getting this award.

Also, I received a letter from the school to inform us that Hunter did a "Patriotic Art Project" and his art project had been chosen to be displayed in an Art Show, sponsored by the city of Coconut Creek. There will also be an award ceremony for friends, parents and students to attend on Oct. 22nd.

Pretty cool stuff right?

To keep the good news going here.....

Last night, Hunter had one of his best playing games in hockey as of yet. He was on fire last night, helping his teams take the victory of 7 to 1, shooting one goal, several assist. Although, he did come home with a bit of an attitude, as he had shot four goals, with only making one of them in. He is way hard on himself sometimes.

He leaves tomorrow for his first out of state tournament this season, to Detroit. Please pray the team has safe travels, a good tournament with no injuries and safe return home. Thank you.

Around the house....

Hunter over the last few weeks has been working so hard being responsible. I love it. He wakes himself up with his own alarm clock. He gets up without any complaints, gets himself dressed with the uniform of the day laid out the night before. He makes up his bed, packs his bag, has me sign whatever I need to sign. I then make his lunch, snack and breakfast. He eats, brushes his teeth, feeds and waters the cats. Takes out any recycles there are in the bucket.

Although not always perfect, and still a boy with a temper, mouth and attitude.... I see the difference in him this year. I see him growing up, maturing, trying and changing. Behind all that good stuff, that frustrating stuff.....he is to me one 'KOOL-KAT!'

When with the boys he holds his own. Would also be considered a alpha-male. Leader. Strong. Funny. Athletic. ALL BOY!

Around the girls, he is tender, sweet, shy, easy going and romantic. Yes, believe it or not he is already a romantic at heart.

As a big brother. THE BEST ONE EVER..... He adore his sister. Protects her. Loves her. Plays with her. Teaches her. And as any big brother would....he annoys her, teases her, wrestles her. But at the end of the day...they both look at each other with that love only they could have for each other, lean in and kiss goodnight. I love that he cares and adores his sister so much, he even allows her to kiss him with wet slobbery kisses, and just wipes his mouth when she is done kissing him. He doesn't run, say gross or avoid her. He totally and unconditionally loves his little sister.

Now my eyes are tearing up....

Although I don't get to post many photos of him on here these days...its because of this.

He ducks and hides from my camera all the time. He is just too cool for photos....

After all he is a Kool-Kat!

please not my house

That was my very thought as I walked out of Publix (grocery store at 9:15 AM) this morning.  

Grocery shopping that early? 

Yes, I was. 

That is not my norm though.  I just happened to have a small list of things needed and I figured I would run in pj's and all, and grab the items on the way home from dropping my son off at the rink.

You know, very important things like: litter, milk, bread, shampoo/conditioner, toothpaste, cantaloupe, razor, shave cream, pirate booty, orange juice and arizona ice tea.  

Yea, all that stuff.  Stuff that I probably should have gotten on my Wal-Mart Supercenter run Monday.  

In truth, I really ran into Publix to get a couple of important things like milk and bread, and then I got a bit lazy and got the rest of the items that I was not able to get at Wal-Mart on Monday, as well.  But.... sometimes it just gets really, really old having to figure out what is for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner day in and day out.  Some days I feel I am not meant to be a stay-at-home mom.  Not because of the mothering part, but because of the cleaning, laundry and grocery part.  Then I quickly slapped myself in the face and said "um, well all that stuff still exist even when you do have a job to go to." Oh, right!  Glad I cleared that up.  

Don't get me wrong readers.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being home with my babies.  I am SO VERY THANKFUL I have that choice.  When I vent and complain on my blog, it is NOT with a serious heart and pity me intentions.  I am simply letting out current frustrations. At the end of the day, when I rock my baby girl to sleep or tickle my sons back to sleep.  I pray, I give thanks and I am in love and grateful all over again, EVERY SINGLE DAY. 

Last night was a romantic night for honey and I.... well, the thunderstorm is love music for the two of us.  We love thunderstorms.  We got the kids down for the night at a reasonable time and then we got to enjoy each other's company.  Something we need to make more effort in.  It was nice.  

However, it seems as though we like to play a lot of musical chairs beds in this house.  Not last night, but the night before, this is how the dance went.

I rocked Morgan to sleep and put her in her bed.

I then lay with Hunter and tickle his back until he falls asleep in his bed. 

I fall asleep in Hunter's bed with him.  

I wake up to go to my bed, to see my husband had fallen asleep on the couch watching the Yankees.  

I go to my bed and go back to sleep. 

I wake up to honey, Hunter and two cats literately all laying on top of me where I could hardly breath.

Morgan wakes up crying.  I gasp for air and try to dig myself out of the human/cat pile I am at the bottom of to go and comfort her.  

She wasn't having it due to the thunder outside, so I ended up taking her into Hunters bed with me and that is where we slept.  Leaving Hunter, Mark and cats in my bed. 

Basically, everyone woke up in a different place than where they started.  Ha! 

So, as I was leaving Publix this morning, walking to my car, I hear and see a fire truck at full speed going in the direction to my neighborhood, and the first thought that rushed to my head is "please not my house." 

Ever done that? 

I felt like I couldn't get my bags unloaded into the car from cart fast enough.  All the thoughts rush through my head, "did I leave anything on?" It is such a scary feeling.  

Well, my house is clean.  I have two more loads of laundry to finish off and then I think baby girl and I are going to go get mommy's nails polished.  Mark and I are actually going out to dinner with Patrick and Val tonight, for Patricks BIG 40th birthday.  Both men are in the mood for some steak, so it looks like J. Alexanders tonight.  I am looking forward to a nice dinner with only adults.  I don't get those often. Then we are going to see The Hangover.  Not my preference of movies, but I am out voted.  See I am cool like that.  I can go with the flow of things, as long as I am fed.  A nice steak should do the trick. 

I know this post is all over the place and I am typing fast, as baby girl is now next to me and I can smell the foul stench of her dirty diaper 10 feet away, while she plays with the snot sucking machine.  She likes pushing the button and hearing the vibration sound.  Oh and guess what?  She said a new word last night, "night-night." It came out of no where.  I love that.

I still have to write her little update post, as she also has broken in one of her molars, which explains all these dirty diapers and waking up in the middle of the night issues.  Ah...the life of a mommy at home with a child.  

And since it is my rule to not write post when possible without posting a picture....isn't this a cute one of Mark and Morgan on 4th of July walking by the lake?  I wish I had by good camera when I took this shot.  All I can think of when looking at this, is the next image like this is when she is a teen or getting married.  So sweet.  

Oh and guess what else?  Hunter is getting baptized this Sunday.  As well, I am, or should I say my acting skills (ha!), are being used this weekend in church.  I will be acting on stage during the entire service, for all seven (7) services this weekend.  The discussion this week at church "How to have an affair!"  You read correct.  If you want to know how to have an affair, how to mess up your family and children's life, this message is for you.  Its going to be a great message and I encourage everyone to come check it out.  It can also be heard on podcast and as well seen on TV, just visit our church website www.cbglades.com. But if you live in this part of Florida, come visit our church, and come see me in action on the stage. I dare you.   

If you are able to come and your schedule is flexible.  Come to the 12:45 PM service and watch my beautiful boy take the plunge in his public display of his faith, and be baptized.  

Other than that, I hope everyone has a beautiful blessed weekend.  

"mom, do you do weird things in the shower?"

I figured I give a little update on my kiddos, after all this is what I started blogging about in the first place.  This post will be my Boo's post.

Since having him back with me, after him being up in Cape Cod with his dad for 19-days at the beginning of summer.  I have so enjoyed his company.  He really is wise beyond his years, an old soul and I love him so much.  

My first love.

Sometimes I find myself so quickly to put Hunter off because I am busy with something in the house, baby needs my attention or I am just physically and mentally spent.  Hunter has never complained.  He has been so patient with his sister, and with me, and probably way more than a boy his age should have to.  When I say "put off" I mean simply by telling him to "hang on" or "not right now" kind of put off. I am not saying that he goes with out being noticed or loved.  

Now that I cleared that up.

Hunter has such a sweet and tender spot for babies and animals.  He is just one unique and special young boy.

He is already a hopeless romantic kind of guy.  Meeting girls every where he goes and almost always finds one that he crushes on and talks about until your ears want to bleed.  I am thankful though that he does openly talk to me about girls right now. There may come a day (although I hope not) he will not want to talk to me about this stuff. I want to do my best so that he will always feel safe to talk to me about anything.  Knowing that I will not judge him or make him feel uncomfortable in anyway.  

The week before last he attended a camp. This was considered a "fun, go be a boy" kind of camp.  He does so much with sports throughout the year and summer that I decided this year he needed to equally have time to let loose and be a kid and just go to a fun camp. A camp that allowed him to explore, be outdoors and not have so much expected out of him.  

He loved it so much that he has begged me to let him attend again next year. Or maybe a little girl named Autumn had something to do with that? 

Anyway, at the end of the week they handed out awards. Can anyone guess what award Hunter may have received?  

"BEST AT SPORTS" award.  Yeap!  But at least he was having fun and doing what comes natural to him, without having coaches or his dad on his back.  Put the "fun" back into sports and you get a kid that is just naturally very talented and athletic.  

He (as he should be) was very proud of this award.  Part of me wonders if he was so proud because often it seems as though he and his dad are always butting heads over sports related stuff, that Hunter never feels as though he is 'good enough' at times for his dads liking.  His dad is also the coach of the hockey travel team that Hunter is on.  I think winning this award gave him some reassurance that he is that good, and something that could make his dad proud of him.  Regardless, I am proud of him and for him with this award.

If you recall, I mentioned a couple of months ago about Hunter talking about salvation and wanting to be saved.  I never updated on that because as time went by, I let it be, seeing if Hunter brought it up again on his own, to make sure he really meant all that he was saying to me. I wanted this to be between him and God. Not something that seemed like it was being force fed down him to do.  So I haven't mentioned it to him since that last time. 

On our flight to Texas last Monday, Hunter out of no where says to me "mom, do you ever do weird things in the shower or think of stuff while in the shower?" "Ummm, where you going with this son?" 

Hunter, "I asked Jesus into my heart and to be my savior while I was in the shower. I want to be baptized, but only baptized in front of the people that work at the church and friends and family that we know." 

"WOW Hunter, that is wonderful news.  I am so excited." As I secretly want to cry and just give thanks to God for an answered prayer.

I always feared that Hunter would become confuse about his faith because of his dads view on things.  I always feared that Hunter wasn't getting enough church time or bible time traveling so much with hockey or at his dads every other weekend.  I feared I wouldn't be a good enough example or role model for him as a Christian person.  

Some how, some way, my son has really grown into his own understanding of faith and has taken upon himself as a young boy, and said a prayer in the shower on his own, asking God to be in charge of his life.  

(Now I am crying!)

I still remember the day I said that prayer, and I was only a year older than Hunter.  I remember that prayer, where I was and the weather that day.  He will remember this prayer and the place (a shower) all his life as well.  At least I hope he does.  

He was so proud that he couldn't wait to call our pastor (whom is like an uncle to Hunter anyways) and tell him the news.  He couldn't wait to tell my parents when they picked us up at the airport.  And often throughout the week last week, he would say things to me like "its okay if we die today mom, because I know where we are going." or "I hope Michael Jackson took that step and Ill meet him in heaven one day." 

See what I mean?  He is wise beyond his years.

I find myself learning so much by being his mother.  

He has this way about him.  He knows how to comfort me when I am feeling down and knows when to push my buttons or give a good debate when he wants something.  

The other day while sitting at the airport, across the way was a book store and there was a book titled "God is not great." It started up a conversation between myself, Mark and Hunter.  Each of us giving our thoughts on why a book like that was written.  While at one point I kept trying to speak, but Mark kept talking and talking over me.  Sorry honey, I am ratting you out here.  HA! I got a bit frustrated and said "forget it" on whatever it was I was trying to say.  

Hunter noticed that I got a bit annoyed and asked me to tell him what I wanted to say.  At that point I didn't feel like saying it.  I was being a kid, pouting and sulking.  Hunter was being the adult, and he says to me "please say what you were going to say, its going to be a part of my life and my future, so I need to know what you feel and have to say on this." Talking about this "God is not Great" book.  

He quickly got me to smile and over my annoyance, and had me back into the conversation.  One that was important to him, and mattered to him, probably more than I will ever know.  Next time I will just need to eat more, so I can be a little more patient with being talked over.  HA! 

Isn't that awesome though? 

I ended up having some great conversations with Hunter about salvation, and its almost like the day I heard the words "discharged" for Morgan's cardiologist checkup back in April.  Hearing my son tell his prayer, in the shower, on his own, melts my heart.  His words keep repeating in my head, and I keep smiling with joy that I must be doing a little bit of something right.  I get that flutter in my stomach just thinking about it.  

This week Hunter is back to attending hockey camp, and wants to be baptized this weekend, so I hope we can make that happen for him.  Then he is off to Cape Cod for another 19 days with his dad this Monday.  

Did I tell you that I love him so much already?  Just in case you didn't read that or you didn't really HEAR me, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, and apparently his sister does too. 

a little bit of this, a little bit of that

My baby (Canon Rebel XT) is at the doctors camera clinic getting repaired. Hopefully, only a little bit of a lens jam and not a lot of $$, and my baby will be back home to play with her new adopted BIG Mac-DADDY BROTHER, (Canon 50D).  

Hunter is safe and having a blast in Cape Cod, and we miss him so much already.  It's not the same when he isn't home with us.  

Today turned out to be some bad news with good news with my visit at the hospital.  A little boy who celebrated his 12th birthday today, was struck by a car a few months a go.  A hit and run.  He wasn't expected to live, but miraculously he pooled through it.  Today, that very active 12 year old little boy, now sits in a wheel chair and is forever physically and mentally broken.  His family along with a ton of doctors and nurses all gathered in a little room to help his family celebrate his birthday.  Soon to be released to go home,  his family, as well as "W" (boy), will have a new way of life to adjust to.  Please pray for him and his family as they welcome home their son, and learn to help and manage his disabilities.  He was smiling so much today and enjoying his cake and gifts.  The hospital does such a great job and you can really tell that these nurses love doing their jobs. As each one came in to get pictures with "W" and were hugging and kissing on him.  It was a beautiful thing to see out of the tragic that came before it. 

Also, other bad news.... 

As I mentioned on Face Book last night.  The little 22 month old girl I was supposed to photograph a week ago has suddenly had a turn for the worst.  If you are new to my blog, she is home on hospice care for untreatable cancer.  Only last week she was still very active and mobile and I received news yesterday, she is now sedated in her bed at home and they do not know how much time she has left.  My camera broke and I had to cancel my session with her.  I am very sad about this, and I am so sad for this family.  Please take a moment and pray for this family and this precious 22 month old girl. 

Speaking of my broken camera.... I realized I never posted pictures from Memorial Day, the day my camera broke.  

Our community resort club house always hosts a huge Memorial Day party.  Bringing in food, entertainment, rides and activities for the kids.  This year they decided to host a carnival with lots of games and rides.  My friend Val and I thought we would take the kids to the carnival while the guys did the food run for the BBQ/Rock Band party we were having at our house later that afternoon. 

We get to the carnival and the kids were hyped up, ready to play and ride.  

With a lot of dark clouds, a little bit of thunder, a little bit of lightening and a little bit of rain.... other than that it was a lot of fun for the kids.  

I, on the other hand, not so great.  It was hot, sticky and pushing a 23lb baby around in a stroller in the grass, with a camera bag and purse strapped on the back... is NOT an easy task.  Trying to photograph Payton here, Hunter there, push Morgan here, and push Morgan there.  I was working up a pretty gross sweat glow. 

Hunter did a little bit of this.......

Morgan did a lot of that.

Payton did a little bit of this.....

Hunter did a little bit of that.....

Morgan did a lot of this.

Then there was some of this.

***THIS IS WHERE MY CAMERA BROKE***

Val tried to take a picture of Morgan and I waiting on Hunter and Payton to finish up in the bouncy houses, and while waiting for the guys to pick us up before we get poured on or struck by lightening. 

This was a bad combo all together.  

A) A girl that doesn't know how to work, aim or shoot a camera (Sorry, Val....must be honest! LOL) + B) A jammed lens (and or broken camera) = very out of focus and blurry images, with heads and legs cut off.  LOL  

O'well..... I still thought they were cute enough to post of me and my mini me. I really must get out my baby book and compare.  I almost can't believe it, but I see ME when I look at Butterfly.  She looks like my baby pictures I remember in my moms albums.  Its so neat to see.  I may get to see me at 6' tall. Hope she loves the camera as much as her mommy does.  *smiling* 

Besides its not very often I get to come out from behind the lens and be in a photo with my kids.

Sorry...but for the next 18 days now, there will be a lot of pictures of Morgan.  Oh wait, that's no different than any other day.  Ooops!  

Good Night.  

40 days and 40 nights 19 Day Mission

Well, I could have loaded the kids up for breakfast at Denny's, where I could have ordered my 'Moons over my Hammy'.  And I could have packed up the car to drive an hour South to Miami Beach for a Wal-Mart casting, that every agency, model and their dogs were going to be attending at the Albion Hotel on Collins road.  I could have been miserable sitting there with two extremely board kids, one wanting her nap and the other saying he wished he went to school instead of staying home with mom and sister.  In which by the time the casting was over with and we made our way to Lincoln Road to eat lunch, the rain would have come pouring down on us, making for a very unpleasant experience walking Lincoln Road.....and let's not even think about what the beach would have been like when all said and done if we would have done that yesterday. 

You see, I could have done all that I said I was going to do yesterday with my kids.  Because in theory as a lot of things often do, it sounded so nice, wonderful and perfect.  That's why the say "in theory".  

I am blonde, but I am a lot smarter than one may think that I am.  In fact, I am so smart that I often surprise myself at times.  

I thought it through and instead of relying on "theory" to go my way... I stayed here in reality, and instead......

Treated my kids to a nice healthy Chick-Fil-A breakfast.  In which I had the nice and healthy #1 (friend chicken breakfast combo, with mini hash-browns and a rootbeer).  Yeap, nice and healthy is how we roll in this family.  

What?  

Come on folks, there is protein called chicken underneath that fried skin.  Duh! It's healthy in my books.  See, I told you that I was smart.  

After a nice delicious breakfast, the kids had a fun time playing.  Hunter got his creative juices flowing after watching an early movie of Hot Wheels.  He decided to create and design his very own Hot Wheel tracks.  

Let me just say this,  Hunter is one creative little artist. This boy can come up with the coolest visions and ideas that can just blow your mind away.  He is so talented.  

Morgan, on the other hand, is simply scrumptious.  More and more, every day she is trying to explore with new sounds and words.  You should hear her try to say Disney's cartoon 'Handy Manny'.  Oh, it is the cutest thing EVER. 

I need to do something with this girls hair.  I didn't want to cut, but it seems it may be getting to that point.  Its all in her face and eyes.  Its a party in back and business in front, mullet.  

Any suggestions??

Yesterday, she loved having Hunter home to play with.  She loves playing with his hot wheels and Bakugans.  She loves being in his room, even when he isn't home.  She just loves her big brother.  She gave mommy plenty of smiles yesterday..... 

So, while the kids were playing and entertained, I gave it another thought and decided that yesterday would be the perfect day to get out my new fancy smancy camera.  Everyone keeps asking me what I upgraded to, and gees, I didn't think it to be a secret or anything.  Had no idea that everyone would be so curious about my new camera.  

After doing some research, calculating, and bouncing off questions on my friends that are professional photographers.  I respect their opinions and so I upgraded my Canon Rebel XT to the Canon 50D.  Take a look at my sweet new toy.  

I was very limited with how much I could really play with it yesterday.  I have to be honest here.  I was intimidated by it.  I don't want anything to happen to it.  I don't want to mess anything up on it, and I don't want finger prints and smudges all over it,  just yet. I really like admiring how clean and cool and so oh-la-la it looks sitting there on my table.  

I also purchased a DVD on the Canon 50D, so that I can take my camera and it's ability seriously.  I am taking my photography more seriously.  I want to improve and learn something every day and with every photo session I have with my clients.  I also got a couple of books to read on over the summer.  Take a look.  

I can't wait to get out on the field with it. 

Where was I?

Oh yea... 

Instead of walking in the rain on Lincoln Road with two very fussy and bored kids.  Morgan helped her brother organized and clean up his room, before leaving for Cape Cod tomorrow.  She handed him hangers, while he hung up his clothes. I of course photographed them as if they were shooting their own reality TV show or something.  

Notice Hunter's shirt he is wearing? He picked it out all by himself to wear, and thought it was fitting for the reason he was home yesterday.  I agree. 

We organized his Bakugan's and got everything in place so that when he returns from Cape Cod, everything almost everything will be in its place.  You know all the things that Morgan can't get her hands into will probably stay in it's place anyway. 

This next photo is a shot looking up to the bottom of Hunter's top bunk bed.  Recently at church, Hunter made this paper with a verse out of the bible that HE chose on his own.  Not a verse that I told him or that the church told him, but a verse he liked and picked on his own.  It says "God has listened.  He has heard my prayers. Psalm 66:19".  

I asked him why he thought of that verse to write down that day.  His response was "because last night and this morning I prayed that I would make the Jr. Panther's 2009-2010 Travel Hockey Team.  I prayed, and I made the team, God answered my prayers." 

Of course I thought for a moment to explain to Hunter to not expect that to always be the outcome of his prayers, but instead, I just smiled and let him enjoy his moment. While I enjoyed watching him feel good that God did answer his prayers.  

We decided to tape this underneath the top bunk bed, so that when waking up or going to bed, Hunter can always be reminded to A) pray and B) be thankful for that answered prayer (and give thanks for answered prayers).  

We all know how easy it is to forget and move on, and not thank God for something we prayed for and received.  This is a verse that we could all use taped onto our mirrors or near our beds to see when waking or going to sleep.  Having a constant reminder that God answers and listens to our needs and prayers.  

After that we continued to clean up his room, and we noticed we are still missing two state quarters.  We have been working on this collection for about 4 years now, I think. We are so close to finally having it complete.  We need UTAH and ARIZONA, state quarters.  Anyone have one to give us???  Please hit the 'contact me' tab at the top of my blog if you do and I'll give you a shipping address to send it to.  If you do find the missing quarters we need, there may be a little gift involved. Maybe, NO PROMISES.  I just thought of that as I was typing.... I may take it back.  Moving forward.....

You see, I could have done what I said I would be doing yesterday.  It sounded so nice, didn't it? 

Then we would have missed out on so much more.  Like lunch at Moe's, a bike ride to his friends house, and to end with a scavenger hunt around the house. Finding a movie called "Journey to the center of  the Earth", that we watched last night.  A great kids movie by the way. 

To end a perfect day with my kids, with Morgan a sleep and Hunter snuggled right next to me in my bed for the night.  

Which would you have done?  

That's what I thought! 

You see, as I also mentioned in yesterday's post, 'it's different for me'.  Today is the last day of school for my 2nd grader now 3rd Grade son. However, it's also my last day with him for 19 days, for he will leave today to Cape Cod with his dad for his first part of the summer break.  I don't get to have my son every day of the summer. I don't get the chance to get tired of having him home and ready for school to begin.  I have to share him with his dad, out of state for half of the summers.  While he is home, I still have to let him be a kid and do things like camps and playdates.  I now share him with his friends, his camps and his father in the summer.  

Last day of school and summer bring such mixed emotions to me as a mom.  I am happy summer is here, and that Hunter gets to travel and have fun. He gets a break from all his school demands and travel sports.  For me I get to sleep in and not have to stop in the middle of my day to sit in pick-up lines at school.  But I only  get 19 days on and 19 days off with him, and then another 21 days on and 21 days off.  I get my son for a totally of 40 days and 40 nights in the summer, all in which only about 9 or 10 of those days do I really get to keep him home all to myself like I did yesterday.  

Today, when I dropped Hunter off at school,  and after watching him kiss his sister and then quickly jump up to give me a kiss before we got close enough to his peers and teachers to be seen kissing his mom.  You can see the excitement in his face that this as the last day of school, and excited he was heading to Cape Cod with his dad.  You could also see that he feels a little off too. Knowing he was going to be missed and miss us too.  

I thought I had prepared myself enough this time around about keeping it together when I dropped him off and drove away. As the rain is dripping on my windshield, baby girl sitting in the back.... I just started crying.  It really came over me out of no where. I wasn't expecting to cry or thinking about crying. However, once I drove away and looked back at his empty seat, I was then reminded he wasn't coming home today, or for the next 19 days.  

Getting home, only to get on the blog and read about a baby girl I have been following for months on Cambridge site, passed away last night.  She was 7 months old and she fought a long hard road very similar to baby Kayleighs.  I just started bawling.  

After a good cry and some giggles with baby girl.  I picked myself back up. 

I am better now this afternoon.  I have been putting together a list of things that I want to get organized, cleaned out and accomplished in this home, in my photography and for a really cool project I am working on. I decided that I will make use of my 19 days, and say that I am on a 19 day mission.  

Before I know it, Hunter will be home.  We will travel to Texas, Mark and I travel to NYC and I have a bloggy friend that I have never met in person, but have come to love and adore as a close friend through email, bringing her and her family to stay with us here in my home, an entire week in August.  I can't tell you how excited I am about that.  

So before the post gets any longer.... 

I will leave you with one last photo.....

Hang on. Hang on.  I can do better that.   I'll leave you with this one last photo instead.  

Now that's better!