will they know me in heaven?

Death is something that is all around us. Lately, I have felt that death is getting nearer to me in some way. I don't know in which way, but in some way. Maybe its that little bit of 'fear' that sneaks in me of losing something or someone so dear and near to me, like my children.

I read daily blogs and stories of families that are living among us with their hearts broken and dealing with the unimaginable pain of the loss of a child.

I have compassion. I have prayed so may times in my life for God to make me more like Him. To let me love, feel and care for others just has He would love, feel and care. He, I believe, has answered those prayers. When I read a story, or see first hand someone dealing with pain or the loss of a loved one. I don't just witness the situation and then go about my busy life. I feel the situation with them. My emotions will take my mind to 'that' place, and it will allow me to place myself in the shoes of another, getting a glimpse of what they must be experiencing.

With being able to take myself there emotionally, I feel it then gives me the ability to pray for these people in ways that some wouldn't think to pray for them.

I don't know.

I can't fully explain what I am trying to say. All I know is that I feel different. I feel like I have walked so many lives of other people. I have found myself awake in the middle of the night, with that feeling a panic, as a parent that just lost a child would feel. I have felt my heart race. I have felt my chest struggle to breath. I have felt so much pain just by other's painful experiences in life.

The other night I laid in bed. I had my eye mask on and Mark was next to me reading his book. He probably thought I was fast asleep, as I laid there in deep thought. When out of my mouth I spoke these words....

Me: "do you believe we will know each other in heaven?"

Mark: (His response was a moment of silence. Probably confused by the question out of no where or wondering if I am talking in my sleep. )

Then he replied: "no, I don't think we will."

Me: begin to silently cry.

Me: begin to not breath because I am trying to not let him know I am crying under my eye mask.

Me: can't control it anymore and I begin to weep out loud, still with eye mask on over eyes.

Mark: "honey, what's wrong?"

Me: "I didn't like that answer." (my cry just got ridiculous now.)

Mark: "I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have said that. I don't know the answers to that. I just think that we wouldn't know each other."

Me: "I don't like that answer."

Mark: "babe, what do I know? I could be wrong. Here let me look it up." (As he grabs his bible and start fumbling through the pages.)

Mark: "I just believe that our purpose when we get to heaven is to glorify God. Even if we don't know each other in heaven, it won't matter. You won't be sad about it. You will be thrilled to be in the presence of God. You wont' remember your life on earth."

Me: (not moving mask from face still.... wiping snot down my cheek.)

Mark: "reading some scripture...."

Me: (can't remember anything he read.)

Mark: "babe?"( as he continues to browse the bible.)

Me: finally getting a hold of myself a little "its okay, you can stop searching the bible."

Mark: "I don't think you will care not being married or knowing me in heaven....." (thinking I would be upset to not know him as my husband in heaven)

Me: (sort of getting annoyed now and a little cranky...expressed myself with a little deeper tone) "I don't care to be married to you in heaven!!!" (laughing now, but at the time, not so much.)

Mark: (his eyes opened wide and afraid to speak)

Me: "I just want my children to know that I am their mom in heaven. I just want to know my babies in heaven. Because if I don't know them in heaven, then it takes the joy of me being excited to go to heaven. I don't want to ever not know them or them not know or remember me. Why put all this effort into love, relationships and family if we can't even be together and know each other in heaven."

Mark: "I don't have the answers, honey."

Then I went to Nashville. Remember this post?

I spoke with Pete Wilson (a pastor friend in Nashville) about this topic with in the first hour of meeting him face to face. He said that he does believe we will know each other in heaven. He sent me several scriptures from the bible that he believes supports his thoughts about heaven.

Although, I will not post them all here. I am curious as to what you think about this topic? I know it can be a very sensitive topic. I know as a parent that has lost a child, this can be a very painful and scary topic. It is for me too.

I am excited to go to heaven. Its supposed to be this wonderful, joyful thing. The whole purpose of living out our purpose here on earth, so to live eternity in heaven. I never feared dying or going to heaven before. When I was young, single and with no children, I never feared at the thought of dying too soon.

Now that I have children, my heart is tied. My heart has two small people that look to me for their needs. Two little people that give me reason to wake up each day and breath. The two very beings that are gifts given to me (loaned even) by God here on earth.

So, the very thought of not knowing these gifts, these children in heaven or them not knowing me as their mother really struck a sensitive spot deep within my heart.

Although, I know there are no tears in heaven. What about those families that lost loved ones or a child way too soon? What about those parents that believe they will see their little baby again in heaven? Will they?

To not believe that would happen is almost unbearable to think of for me.

Why go through all this heartache, trial, pain and EMOTION, if you are not able to celebrate our imperfect lives here on earth, perfectly together in heaven? God speaks about restoring all things as it was meant to be on earth, in heaven. Pete (pastor friend) said "so that leaves me to also believe God means relationships and families will be restored perfectly in heaven as it was meant to be here on earth."

I like that answer better.

I have searched this question a little. I have found many scriptures and many opinions. I still don't know the answer and I think that I may never know until I am there.

Until then, I can only imagine and hope that my children will know me in heaven.

What do you think?

Will my children know me in heaven?

Will they know me as their mother?

Will we greet each other and worship Jesus together?

Will parents get to see their babies and hold them again in heaven?

Will I know YOU in heaven?

Will we sit at the feet of Jesus like children ourselves? His children?

Your thoughts?

hey dad....

Since you live so far away. Or would that be, since I live so far away?

Anyways, I sent you a birthday card (late) which should arrive any day now via snail-mail.

This year I didn't get you your annual photo mug of the kids or anything. Instead I got you something a little more exciting.

I wrote you this post here on my blog with a photo of us. See?

Whatcha think about it?

Do I make you proud, daddy?

And if I call you "daddy" does that make you feel a few years younger?

I want to make this a special day for you daddy even though we are so many miles away, so I am going to give you some advice.

1. Don't go out in the paddle boat today, daddy (still making you feel younger?). It's too cold and I don't want you to get sick. And well.... we also know what happened with your first experience in the paddle boat. :)

2. Don't hammer on anything today if possible. I don't want you to smash your finger. That would really hurt and its your birthday, so no boo boo's for you today.

3. Don't do anything to upset mom. Then she can't yell at you for it on your birthday.

See with all that great advice you are bound to have a fabulous birthday.

We all love you here in Florida.

Happy Birthday Dad and Grandpa!!!

Here to imagining a nice slice of cake to celebrate another year with you.

(And imagining how yummy it taste too!)

$100 giveaway

As seen on TV, I recently worked for PajamaGram. I mostly modeled all their 2010 Valentine PJ's. Although, not all of which I modeled are not online just yet, but I will also be in the new catalog. You can order your free catalog from their website.

In addition to that I also filmed two commercials for PajamaGram, one for their famous Hoodie-Footie Snuggle Suit as seen here.

The other was for their new and very popular PajamaJeans as seen here.

I had such a great time working with a long time friend of mine Victor, who booked me on the jobs.

Not only did I have fun, I got to keep my very own Hoodie-Footie and PajamaJean. I love them.

The PajamaJean is especially my favorite, because they stick to as advertised. I wore mine for a 10 hour shoot, having taken them off and put them back on for different parts of the commercial to shoot. The jeans never once lost their shape on me. They did not loosen or get sloppy, nor did they wrinkle. They were soft and cozy on the inside, while looking like a styish pair of jeans on the outside.

*NOTE* I am in no way writing this post because I have been asked or getting anything in return for promoting this. I actually feel this is a fun topic, something that maybe would be of interest to you and a funny story that now involves YOU and a special giveaway!!!!

Funny story:

After I had modeled for the PajamaGram client, I had went online and signed myself up for the catalog so I could have a copy of my own work. Its often hard to see and get hard copies of your actual work when modeling, so when you get a chance to get it, you do.

Well, a few weeks went by and all of the sudden I received an email. The email said this.

Dear Misty Rice,

Recently you signed up to become a member of PajamaGram’s VIPj Email List. Each month we choose a new VIPj Member to receive a free PajamaGram and we're happy to inform you that you have been selected as this month’s winner.

As our lucky winner, you are invited to select up to $100 of PajamaGram products. You can have your PajamaGram shipped to you, or treat someone special to a special surprise by shipping it to them — it'll surely make their day! We can ship your PajamaGram anywhere within the Continental U.S.

All we need you to do is fill out the attached form and return it to us via a reply to this email or via fax at (802) 985-1382 (Attn: Laura Fitzgerald). As soon as we have received your completed form, we will send your PajamaGram on its way.

At first I thought it was some kind of spam mail or gig with strings attached. I sent the email to my friend Victor, and he confirmed with a giggle "that's funny and offical."

I have been chosen randomly to receive $100 free stuff from PajamaGram. This part of the company has no idea who I am or that I just recently modeled for them. All they did was place my name is a recent customer that signed up to receive catalogs for them and I won!

Pretty funny, right?

Sure it is, Misty! But what does that have to do with US?

Glad you asked.

You see, I decided that I would like to take my blog in a little different direction. I would like to start blogging and building my audience. I plan on blogging about my children, modeling and life in general, just as I do now. As well, as blog about anything and everything I can think of (sort of like I do now, too!). Ha!

Like my little soap box! (sort of like now!)

But I never tried to really grow an audience. I want to see if I can slowly but surely grow my audience and take my blog to the next level.

"So what does that have to do with us, we ask again?"

Well, my little blogging buddies, this is what it has to do with you.

You know that $100 gift card to be used at PajamaGram.com?

I am going to give it away to a lucky blogger. You will be able to shop online to your hearts desire (up to $100's, that is). You will then place your order with me via email. I will get your order shipped out to YOU!!! You can shop for yourself, your dog, your family or a friend. Whatever you like! You can even order yourself your very own Hoodie-Footie or PajamaJean and be cool like me! *giggle-giggle*

Awesome right?

"So what do we have to do? You know those strings attached?"

Well, yes, there is a little tiny string attached, but it's so tiny, its more like dental floss. Its easy. Don't you think $100 in free stuff is worth a little tiny effort on your end?

"Maybe, depends on what it is I guess."

That's the spirit!

All I am asking is that you following me here on my Blog and Twitter, and spread the word about me. I also have a Facebook account, you can jump on their as my friend too. If you have one of the three (facebook, twitter, blog), I ask that you give a little shout out to my blog (with link) and this post, on one of yours.

I am not going to do the whole "points" thing, as other blogs do. I find that to be a little annoying. Okay, I find it to be really annoying. Besides, I don't want to keep up with all of that.

I would just like to gain some new readers. Simple.

I will wait until Feb. 1st to draw my winner. This gives myself and you two weeks to help spread the word. While also announcing the winner 14-days before Valentines Day, just in case you want to order something for yourself or someone special in your life.

While I have your attention, I want to do a blog makeover. Does anyone have any creative ideas for a model/actress/mother and wife? I always love to hear other peoples creativity. Toss that out to me in the comment box too if you feel up for it.

Okay, I am done.

Start following me on the following:

1. Here on my Blog! (just hit follow me to left of my blog)

2. Twitter

3. Facebook

and

4. Leave me a comment here telling me were you are following.

Leaving a comment here on my blog is a must, so I can keep tabs. I will do my (random) drawing from the list of comments on this post February 1st.

If you do not have twitter, blog or facebook. No worries. Just leave a comment and I will still include you in the drawing. I am just asking my readers for some extra love by helping me spread the word.

PS: If any of you already have the PajamaJean or Hoodie-Footie, please share. I would love to hear some personal stories from you on what you think about them.

Be sure to follow me some place so you know when I announce the winner on Feb. 1st.

Thanks for spreading the word.

this spell I'm under

This is my love song to my sweet Savior. When I heard this song on my iPhone iPod, the words of this song had such a whole new meaning like never before to me. I wasn't thinking of my husband. I wasn't thinking of my kids. I wasn't thinking romance. I instantly thought about my sweet Savior.

I often find myself to not be the best at witnessing to people. I want to by my actions. I want to share my life stories that I believe are my walking, living and breathing testimonies. Then I heard this song and I was like "wow, this is what I want people to know why I love my Jesus so much. I want them to know what it is about HIM that keeps me coming back for more. I want everyone to know what it is about this spell I am under."

It's HIS LOVE!

It really just does something to me.

It really sends a shock right through me.

Its made me who I am today.

Whatever HE is doing, I just want HIM to do it all over again.

Here are the lyrics of Tim McGraw's song - Its Your Love. Really read the words in this song. It is exactly how I feel about God's love for me and HIS purpose for my life.

Let this be my testimony!!!

Yea yea

Dancin' in the dark middle of the night

Takin' your heart and holdin' it tight

Emotional touch touchin' my skin

And asking you to do what you've been doin' all over again

Oh it's a beautiful thing don't think I can keep it all in

I just gotta let you know what it is that won't let me go

It's your love

It just does something to me

It sends a shock right through me

I can't get enough

And if you wonder

About the spell I'm under

Oh it's your love

Better than I was, more than I am

And all of this happened by taking your hand

And who I am now is who I wanted to be

And now that we're together,

I'm stronger than ever

I'm happy and free

Oh it's a beautiful thing,

Don't think I can keep it all in

If you asked me why I've changed,

All I gotta do is say your sweet name

It's your love

It just does something to me

It sends a shock right through me

I can't get enough

And if you wonder

About the spell I'm under

Oh, it's your love

Baby, Oh oh, oh,

Oh it's a beautiful thing,

Don't think I can keep it all in

I just gotta let you konw what it is that won't let me go

It's your love

It just does something to me

It sends a shock right through me

I can't get enough

And if you wonder

About the spell I'm under,

Oh it's your love

It's your love, it's your love, it's your love

July 12, 2009

Wow. I can not believe I never posted this. I found this in my "draft' list today. I wrote it up on July 17, 2009. For some reason, I only ended up saving it as a draft and never posted it. Its such a special post that I can't leave it sitting as a draft. It made me smile and tear up all over again reading through this today.



A day that I will put down in my memory bank to never be forgotten. The day my first born, my only son and first love made his public announcement in his faith and Savior.

He did it!!!

Hunter came to me and said that he said a prayer asking Jesus in his heart and to be his savior, and wanted to take the step and be baptized.

I of course was beyond thrilled. What magical words and a time in my sons life. I can't describe this feeling as his mother. Its just an emotional joy and brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

This weekend was yet another miraculous GOD WINK. Hunter was originally scheduled to go back to Cape Cod for his second half of the summer with his dad. I assumed that he would not be able to be baptized until after he got back from Cape Cod. However, I also didn't want too much time to pass between this moment and that moment.

As God would have it.

Hunters dad signed him up for a hockey camp here in Florida that he was attending all week. His father didn't realize the camp didn't end until Saturday, the same day he was to fly to the Cape.

His father sent me an email saying that if we wanted we could come in a day later so that Hunter could finish up his hockey camp. However, I could not afford the price in changing our flights.

God said "hang on a second" and He worked it out some more.

My church then called me up and asked if they could hire me as an actress to play a visual role in this weekends message for all seven (7) services. With the pay, it covered the cost to pay for the change in flights so that Hunter could finish his hockey camp, I could work as a visual in the message at church and Hunter could be baptized.

I was behind stage taking pictures of this special moment. I didn't think I was going to get emotional until the very moment he went under and came back up. The tears came rolling down my face. Of course, I had to hurry back and change in my wardrobe for the service I was going to be in, and clean up the mascara under my eyes.

To make things even more exciting, they needed two kids to be on stage during the services while a special song was being sung. They asked Hunter if he would do it and he was thrilled to. He had a blast and we got to spend the entire weekend together at church, working together, being a part of the message together and sharing his baptism together.

Enjoy the pictures of Hunter and I hope you and your families have a blessed weekend.

But first I feel I better explain something. If you don't follow my blog, then you will wonder why certain 'words' appear on the video at the end of Hunters baptism. Over the summer, our church did a series called "Worlds Largest Strip Club." It was all over the news and everything. Our church likes being bold and different. Anyways, the series was about stripping away things out of your life. Hunter happened to get Baptized during this series, and so the words "Worlds Largest Strip Club" appears on the wall right after his baptism. LOL!

The "you are special" plate!

My friend Lisa recorded it for me with her iPhone, while I was up with Hunter taking pictures.