Greater Things.

As things are continuing to change in my life, I see Greater Things ahead of me. Through all the heartache, the doubts, the questions, the whys.... I still praise and give thanks. I still see visions of greater things that God has planned in my life.

When I feel like everything just seems so messed up and so confusing, maybe even wrong... I stop and I trust in Him, and then I see GREATER THINGS.

Tonight my church has put a challenge out for us to fast this week for seven days. I have never fasted in my entire life. I know some people fast a day, some fast for a few days and some have even fasted for longer. Our challenge is seven days. It can be a 'modern' fasting I guess as a way to look at it. We have options to choose from in our form of fasting. It has to be something that really consumes a lot of our time, thoughts and energy (TV, cell phones, food, sweets, social networks, etc.) that would really provide you a challenge to commit to for seven days. This way, every time you are tempted to break your fasting and do whatever it is you gave up for the week, you will be reminded to stop and pray. The old traditional way of fasting, which also was an option to choose from, is going with out food. This way when your stomach growls of hunger you would stop and pray through that hunger pain. You didn't have to fast for the entire seven days without food, but you had choices of giving up certain foods items or number of meals for the day. I personally can't do that for seven days, with my metabolism, current body weight and the stress I am currently under, it would not be healthy for me to do that. Instead, I have chosen to fast on social network sites (blogs, twitter and facebook).

For me that will be (as silly as this sounds) pretty hard. Being alone most of my days other than with the kids, these social network sites are my adult play and interaction into the real world when home all day alone. I realize I visit them many times a day and for that, I realize that would be a huge portion of my day to give in prayer.

All the other fasting options I really don't give much time to as is, so for me to fast on those items, it wouldn't really open more time for prayer during my day (sweets, TV watching, eating meats, etc.) Out of the list, social network sites, I realize, would be the most tempting for me. Therefor, would be the one thing that would give me more reminders and discipline to stop and pray throughout the days.

So here I go.

Thankfully its spring break this week for Hunter and so Ill have both kids home with me to keep me from feeling isolated, lonely and becoming depressed. HA! Then I come back in a week crazy and ready for a different kind of fasting... LOL.

With that, I would like to end by saying a prayer for all of you and ask that you say a prayer for me, and I will be back in a week.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I want to take this time to give thanks in this new day. Thank you for the loving people you have placed in my life to protect me, love me, support me and encourage me. Lord, thank you for the difficult people you place in my path to challenge me to love only the way you could love, even when someone is unloveable. Thank you for my two beautiful children and their unconditional love for me. I am blessed.

Lord, I want to take this weeks fasting challenge to heart. I want to challenge myself to pray without so many distractions in my way. As I start this week with this challenge, I would like to start tonight by praying for my social networking friends, real life friends and family. Even the friends I have never met in person, but have come to appreciate and care for through blogs, Facebook and Twitter. I pray that their week is filled with blessings and joy. I pray for those that are struggling. I pray for those that are hurting, sick and even lost. I just want to say thank you for these friends that through these social networks have become a part of my life. I hope to meet them face to face one day and give them all a real Jesus kind of love - hug. Thank you for my church, Lord, and all the things you are doing with it.

Lord, although I am journeying through some difficult choices and times in my life right now, I thank you for the strength, the peace and the support you have placed in my life. I know this kind of strength and peace could only come from You, Lord. Please forgive me of my sins, and where I fail you and fail those you place in my life to love and protect. Please help me to be quick to listen and slow to anger with those that I feel hurt me. Let me love them like You love them, no matter what. Please provide me with the right amount of patients with my children this week. Let not my personal stresses to be taken out on them. Lord, place people in my path daily and show me how I can be, and allow me to be a blessing in their lives.

Lord, use me. I give You all that I am. I open up all my secrets, my hurts, my issues and my heart. I lay it all out to you Lord, as you know them anyways. I ask that you take all the good and all the bad in my life and use it to Glorify you and to full fill the purpose you have in my life. I want to leave this world known as a God fearing women, with a legacy with your name all over it. Lord, with saying those words, even writing them for the public to read. I ask that you give me the extra courage I need to get up and out of my comfort zone and step out and start being courageous and serving You, by serving others. Let me get out of "Misty's" selfish world, and let me serve and focus on others in need. Lord, I don't know what plans you have for me or where I will end up. I ask that you circumcise my ears and my heart, so I can hear you speak to me, and put my hands and feet into action. Where do I start?

Please remove all my fears and all the intimidations that hold me back, if this is the direction you want me to go. I want to go on missionary trips, Lord, and provide my hands and heart to the poor. I want to work with sick children. I want to encourage girls and mothers. There is so much I know I can do, but I always make excuses to hold myself back. Please remove all my fears and insecurities so I can show up and serve YOU. I want to be broken and exposed to life outside of my little world that I feel is so rough right now. Use me Lord. Use me for Greater Things... in Your name.

Amen.

I pray that you all have a blessed week....... and I'll be back in a week. Maybe.

Just kidding... I'll be back.

In the meantime, I am really behind on uploading pictures on my camera. Ill have plenty when I return of the kids so tonight I'll leave you with these two handsome men to admire. The first two men in my life once I left the nest. These boys are going on 14 years old (human years). They are my little sweet old men now.

Shilo

Milo

remembering Cora Paige - Birthday.

A year ago I posted this article on my blog.

I want to take a minute out of my day that is crazy and hectic, that I want to run away from it. I want to stop and again be forever thankful and grateful. As this family (as well as many families out there) who are celebrating a birthday of their little girl that is no longer with them here on earth. She would have been two-years-old today.

My heart aches just as it did a year ago today for this family. Its so close to home, as my little girl will be two (God willing) in April. Cora and Morgan also share the same middle name 'Paige'. I get to see my little girl who has been sick all week sleeping in her crib today. While this family, alone with their newest addition, little Levi (Cora's baby brother) try to find the strength to get through another day without their little sunshine.

Happy Birthday Cora Paige.

You can visit The Macs here and leave a little comment of love and support. Their little one is not forgotten.

Cora Paige

knock-knock....who's there?

Its ME, Misty.... did you think I went away for good?

Where to begin?

I have things I want and wish to write every day. I tell myself I will do it later, or Ill do it tonight. By the end of my days lately I have been so overwhelmed with exhaustion that I can barely tidy up the house before I go to bed. My head is so full of noise, thoughts and emotions, its so hard to just stop and have a moment of silence.

I am here though.

I have traveled the last week. I went to Vermont for another three day photo shoot with PajamaGram. I am thankful the for job, the amazing clients, hair/makeup and photographer friends I have made out there. It was freezing cold and snowing tons the first day I got there. The week was filled with long days (8-9 hours straight of standing and posing) and quiet reading time in my hotel. Not that glamours to say the least, but still very humbled and thankful. One night I was able to get out with a couple of friends and watch 'Dear John.' It was cute, but it was not the Notebook and it was much more a high school, young love kind of movie. Both actors are very attractive so that helped. HA!

Here is the Valentines catalog cover. Gotta love those um, extensions!!! Sheesh! I went from this cover, to the 'mama' look for the Mother's Day catalog. That's the next one I'll be in.

By the way, have you all heard of all the rave about PajamaJeans? I mean seriously, it has exploded and they are selling out so fast they can't keep up. They are coming up with all new designs and styles for these hot new items. You really must check them out!!! Here is a little sneak peak of the Mother's Day Catalog PajamaJean shot I did.

This week my little girl has been running high fevers every day. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook you already know that. I took her to the doctor yesterday, but since she just finished two antibiotics for this pesty cough, they didn't want to place her right back on another one. So here we are keeping her fever monitored and waiting it out a few more days to see if she is able to fight it off on her on before going back to the doctors.

This week also brings some refreshing changes, as hockey season just ended and baseball for my big man begins. Tonight he had his first scrimmage and he was the starting pitcher. Although, I missed the game being home with baby girl, his dad kept me up to date. Hunter had a rough first game with his pitching, but made some grate plays in the field. I told his dad he was nine, its freezing out and to cut him some slack. LOL!

Speaking of COLD... I am over it. That's all I wanted to say about that.

There is so many things I want to write about. So many things I want to do. Why does it have to be so hard to just 'get moving' on any one of the many things on your list?

Oh got a question for all of you....

This is random and out of the blue, but tonight while out getting groceries I began to wonder what other families spend on groceries? What is the average amount you spend a week on groceries? How do you do your grocery budget?

Do you shop once a week?

Shop as you need?

Run to grocery story a few times a week?

Do you even have a budget for grocery spending?

I am curious to know, because I feel like I spend so much on groceries. Am I? Or is what I am spending pretty normal as other families with kids?

Well, its about 11:00 PM and I don't like to stay up past 10:00 PM if I can help it. I'm hoping Ill be able to post more here and get back into the groove. I have things to update everyone on anyways. Spring break begins tomorrow, so I am really looking forward to just doing fun things with the kids, IMAX and Disney.

For now.....

I am going to go and read the very last chapter of my book "So Long Insecurities, You Have Been A Bad Friend to Us" by Beth Moore.

I can't remember the last time I started and actually finished a book. I have really enjoyed reading this book and can't wait to share more about it. But... I must finish it first myself.

i want a front porch.

Today I have been thinking. Considering I had absolutely, as in zero, none ... sleep last night, thinking probably wouldn't be the best thing for me.

I took baby girl to the doctor on Monday about her cough. Its this deep (bark) like cough and she has had it for a few weeks now, and its not wanting to get better. The doctor on call Monday so quickly and so laid back tells me he thinks it could be allergies. Sure that makes sense. Allergies run in her family and so does the history of asthma, so its believable.

He says she looks adorable and sounds fantastic. Her lungs sound clear-clear and her ENT look great. "Ill have you give her Zyrtec for two weeks and see if that changes anything" he says. She gives him a high five and $25 dollars we are out the door feeling thankful there isn't anything more to worry about, we can take on a little allergy annoyance.

First two nights I didn't really see any improvment or changes, other than her nose is now starting to run, which I expressed that to the doctor with our last experience with allergy medicine. Its supposed to the do the opposite and dry her up and that would in return hopefully stop the nasal dripping, supposedly causing her to cough to begin with. I assume we need to wait it out a few days and let the allergy stuff get to work.

Well, lets just say that didn't happen. As my baby girl was up all night last night. I am talking about on the hour of every hour, either me rocking her, her fussing and coughing none stop, to me bringing her in my bed, while I sit up against the headboard and try to let her sleep propped up on my chest. Every 15 seconds this annoying deep cough blares in my ears like a fire alarm in the middle of the night. I wanted to cry. I was frustrated and felt helpless for her. I was exhausted and one that must have sleep to function.

I am pretty cautious when it comes to giving me kids meds of any kind and especially cautious when mixing meds. I was afraid to give her anything more since I already have given her the allergy stuff before bed. Finally, around 3:30 AM I felt I had to give her something and I felt that enough hours had gone by that I could be safe with giving her Deslym for her cough. I give it to her and she is able to sleep for two hours, but not totally cough free. We were so tired, that I even allowed Hunter to sleep in an additional hour before waking him up for school.

He had a math test today and I figured I would let him be an hour late to school, in order to get a little more sleep and be ready for his test. So that is what we did.

Today I called up my friend and Morgan's actual doctor to get a second opinion, and instantly on the phone is hears Morgan next to me coughing away. He agreed with me that this didn't sound like an allergy cough, for its too agressive and deep sounding to be. I take her back in to the doctors office, he again confirms though that she is really clear in the lungs and her ENT look fantastic. All praises.

However, he gives me two prescriptions to help knock this stubborn cough out of my little girl.

Hoping tonight is a much better night for sleeping for all of us.

Oh back to my origional thoughts. Bare with me, I am still going with no sleep. I am sitting in my car at Hunters baseball practice typing this.

While driving Morgan down to the Plantation office where our doctor was working today, I had time to think while Morgan was engaged in her Curious George movie in the backseat.

I started to think about how I envision my life one day. I started to think about places I would one day love to live. The kind of people I would love to have around me and the kids my kids could be friends with.

I kept visioning a house with a front porch. We don't have many homes here in South Florida (newer homes anyways) that have front porches built on. You only have a sidewalk that leads to your front door. I realize that it fits our culture these days here. Its hard to find any neighbors to be social with or lets kids run back and forth to each others homes to play. In fact there are no kids in my direct neighborhood that Hunter plays with. We will be outside by ourselves playing street hockey or hoops, or we have to drive to another neighborhood to meet with some friends to play.

I remember growing up with not much money, no fancy homes, but everyone had a front porch. And on those front porches you see the adults hanging out, while all the kids run around playing or riding bikes. It was always active and there was always someone there to hang out with you.

I find it sad that I don't have a front porch here. I don't have a place to sit and welcome my neighbors and their kids. My kids aren't growing up with the experience of backyards, neighborhood buddies and those kinds of memories that I look back on and smile upon.

I want a front porch.

I want a house in a friendly family filled neighborhood. I want to have BBQ's, playdates, bored Saturday nights gathering, chats, conversations, celebrations, tears and memories on my front porch.

Do you have a front porch?

How is your neighborhood? Is it full of life and kids running to each other homes? Is it with warm and welcoming neighbors? I can barely tell you the name of 3 of my neighbors. I do not know my neighbors directly to the left, right or in front of me either. I have seen them before. I have waved and said hi, but that's as far as it goes. Everyone is busy with their own lives, agendas and families.

But this life is about sharing all of that.

Sometimes I wonder if that takes it toll on families these days? Would that play any role in marriages and homes breaking apart, because they become so isolated with just themselves. No other families to casually be social with at any given moment. Instead, you have to plan it out and hope that it doesn't get postponed or canceled due to one of the kids being sick or having a sports event to attend.

You don't have anyone to call up and say "please give me an hour and take your kids for you" or you do the same. You don't have kids anxiously waiting to knock on your door after dinner so they can play with your kids. No one to say "hey walk down and come eat tacos with us tonight." All the things I remember growing up and enjoyed.

We always had friends and people to share life with. Our door was always opened, not always having it locked and curtains down so no one can see inside your home. Heck, even if your dog was missing, all you had to do is call down the street and know that your dog was getting a belly rub by the kids down the block, and he'd come running back at the sound of your whistle.

I find myself so lonely sometimes, it hurts.

I had a dream. A vision. An idea of what I wanted in my family life of my own. And I just find myself feeling so stuck sometimes, and constantly left to day dream of having my very own front porch.

Life is so different here in this part of Florida. Maybe one day Ill find a little happy place out here and I can give my kids a little bit of their own front porch to take with them and share with their own kids. Until then, Ill just enjoy the view within.

Speaking of front porches.... let me bring you a little country too. I love this song.

The only ground I ever owned was sticking to my shoes

Now I look at my front porch and this panoramic view

I can sit and watch the fields fill up

With rays of glowing sun

Or watch the moon lay on the fences

Like that's where it was hung

My blessings are in front of me

It's not about the land

I'll never beat the view

From my front porch looking in

There's a carrot top who can barely walk

With a sippy cup of milk

A little blue eyed blonde with shoes on wrong

'Cause she likes to dress herself

And the most beautiful girl holding both of them

And the view I love the most

Is my front porch looking in, yeah

I've traveled here and everywhere

Following my job

I've seen the paintings from the air

Brushed by the hand of God

The mountains and the canyons reach from sea to shining sea

But I can't wait to get back home

To the one he made for me

It's anywhere I'll ever go and everywhere I've been

Nothing takes my breath away

Like my front porch looking in

There's a carrot top who can barely walk

With a sippy cup of milk

A little blue eyed blonde with shoes on wrong

'Cause she likes to dress herself

And the most beautiful girl holding both of them

Yeah the view I love the most

Is my front porch looking in

I see what beautiful is about

When I'm looking in

Not when I'm looking out

There's a carrot top who can barely walk

With a sippy cup of milk

A little blue eyed blonde with shoes on wrong

'Cause she likes to dress herself

And the most beautiful girl holding both of them

Yeah the view I love the most

Oh, the view I love the most

Is my front porch looking in

Yeah

Oh, there's a carrot top who can barely walk

(From my front porch looking in)

A little blue eyed blonde with shoes on wrong, yeah

And the most beautiful girl

(Beautiful girl

From my front porch looking in)

Holding both of them

Oh, yeah

dear sweet child of mine.....

If I could put into words what I would want to say to you yesterday, today and tomorrow, it would be this:

WHAT I WOULD TELL YOU:

(If I knew what to say.)

You are a miracle.

And I have to love you this fiercely: So that you can feel it even after you leave for school, or even while you are asleep, or even after your childhood becomes a memory.

You’ll forget all this when you grow up. But it’s okay.

Being a mother means having your heart broken.

And it means loving and losing and falling apart and coming back together.

And it’s the best there is. And also, sometimes, the worst.

Sometimes you won’t have anyone to talk to.

Sometimes you’ll wonder if you’ve forgotten who you are.

But you must remember this: What you’re doing matters.

And you have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.

The truth is, being a mother is a gift. Tenderness is a gift. Intimacy is a gift. And nurturing the good in this world is a nothing short of a privilege.

That’s why I have to love you this way. So I can give what I have to you. So that you can carry it in your body and pass it on.

I have watched you sleep. I’ve kissed you a million times. And I know something that you don’t, yet:

You are writing the story of your only life every single minute of every day.

And my greatest hope for you, sweet child, is that I can teach you how to write a good one.

I borrowed these words and video from this blog. But I mean every bit of it.