sour mood and a smiling dragonfly

I haven't wanted to post lately because in truth, I am just tired.  If you follow me on twitter or facebook, you know what I am referring to.  Those of you that do not, let me explain.  

My 14 month old Butterfly, is either having nightmares, growing pains or teething in her big daddy teeth.  She has been waking up many (MANY) times during the night screaming, since last Friday.  She had a little bit of a runny nose so I gave her Tylenol and that helped for a couple of nights, but that's it.  

Last night, was the hardest night yet.  I was up, and up, and up, so many times.  I just wanted to scream and cry.  I am one that doesn't do well without sleep and or with many interrupted periods in my sleep. I need my sleep. 

I was so tired last night, that after rocking and rocking and rocking Butterfly,  I fell asleep in the rocking chair with her in my arms.  She on the other hand was fighting so hard to not shut her eyes that with any little sound, move, clearing of the throat or swallow, she heard it.  She would open her eyes to let you know "don't even think about it, mommy" kind of look.  If she were in pain, you would think she would still fuss while I held her, but she doesn't. She just lays there wanting to be held.  I even broke the night feeding rule and gave her another bottle last night.  It didn't do the trick either.  

Finally around almost 4:00 AM, I get her down and I slept out on the couch.  Once I heard hubby up getting ready for work, I stumbled off to my bed to crash.  But of course, she hears anything and everything.  She is such a light sleeper.... because we have the 'white noise' machine in every room, and this girl still hears everything.  She hears daddy moving around and then I hear that awful sound, like the worst alarm clock on the planet, a screaming Butterfly on the baby monitor. I cringe, I roll over, I turn the volume down wear I can barely hear her.  Hoping and praying she would just lay back down and go to sleep.  

Not happening.  

We are up, I am exhausted and VERY irritable at this point.  This is when you do not want to ask me something or try to talk to me.  I am mean. A big cranky bear.  The demon in me comes to surface. I can't control her.  

Then to top that off, I get a call from my agent before the office even opens, that a client that I have worked with in the past, and recently ran into at a jazz lounge a few weeks ago, wants to book me for a job down in the keys tomorrow.  Not only are they going to pay a modeling fee, they offered me and my family a couple nights stay at The Cheeca Lodge & Spa. I have been there before and I love it there.  They are renovating the place, and said we could come and stay once it opened back up.  I quickly told my agent "sold" without taking a moment to think it through. Anytime we can get a free room and board like that, I am game.  

I then start calling and scrambling around to search for a young teen that was out for the summer that could travel down to the keys with me to help watch Morgan during my shoot time.  I find one.  I was told that I would have to drive up tonight for tomorrows shoot.  I of course am on it, tired and all.  Totally talking to myself, "okay so get Morgan down at this time for a nap, Ill sleep during that time also, Ill need to pack this and this and that. Try to get on the road by this hour and be down there by that hour." etc. 

As I am doing all of this, I am waiting to hear from my agent for the details.  Finally, 11:00 AM rolls around and I get the "text."  Yes, my agent and I text.  She tells me that the client didn't want short hair, and has changed her mind now and is booking another girl.  WHAT???

My hair was only maybe three (3) inches, AT MOST, longer when she ran into me a couple weeks ago. It was the first layer cut I had just gotten and posted on my blog.  If she wanted long hair to begin with, what was she thinking to want to book me in the first place?  My hair wasn't long when I saw her a few weeks ago.  Needless to say, the client thinks my hair is MUCH shorter than she "recalled" and wants someone with longer hair for the job.  

Um, yea.  I am totally ticked.  Makes me want to march out and go by those clip on extensions I recently mentioned there other day on here, so I can pop them in and say "here you go, LONG HAIR!!!"  Magic!! 

SOUR MOOD! 

A sour mood is exactly what I have been put in by the lack of sleep, a lost booking and a free stay at this beautiful place with my family.   

And didn't I mention all of this to you when I asked for your votes on the short hair?  My agent warned me.  Clients for whatever reason like Misty Rice with the longer hair.  Why? Because I am stereotyped as the "sexy blond girl".  There aren't many blonds out here, so I work well when it comes to booking the blond jobs.  But there are a couple of blonds that rock short hair and seem to work just fine.  But then again, its because that is "their" role, the short hair blond.  I am known as Misty Rice, the LONG hair blond. Sigh.

Whatever, it's part of the business, and I say their loss...but inside I am banging my head on the table saying "who am I kidding, its totally MY loss here." I lost x-amount of dollars that my family could use, and I lost a free weekend stay with my family in the Keys at a really hot location. Its my loss, all over HAIR! 

Ugh! 

Baby girl in the mix of it all is screaming and fussing the whole time, so I simply pick her up and say to her "we need a breather girl" lets go outside.  I take her out and let her crawl and walk around in the back yard. She loves being outside and loves looking at the decoy geese in the lake, while points and says "duck".  Too cute.  Oh and she is starting to say things with two syllables now, like 'mommy' and 'baby'.  I love it.   

As she is crawling around and pointing at the birds. I sit on the chase and try to feel the warmth of the weather.  When all of the sudden I see a beautiful dragonfly.  I love dragonflies.  They are such unique and beautiful insects. 

The little guy is sitting perched up on a branch and I swear (although, I shouldn't) it was looking right at me, tilting its head and appeared to be smiling.  I spoke to it for a few seconds and asked if I could grab my camera and take it's picture.  As I get up and walk slowly away to not scare it,  I go and grab my camera.  I thought for sure I would come back and it would be gone, but it was still sitting there.

I start taking its picture, but I didn't have my telephoto lens on, just my 55mm, so I really had to get up close.  I slowly get closer and closer, and I am telling you, this dragonfly was looking right at me.  It was tilting it's head and just totally content with me taking its picture, with this huge black camera right up its in face.  It was awesome.  

I suddenly found myself relaxed, smiling and over the fact that I only got 3 hours of sleep and lost a booking at the moment.  I was so intrigued by the dragonfly and excited with the pictures I got, and how cool it looked up close in my lens.  

Shortly after, I was putting baby girl down for her nap, I couldn't even think about going to sleep myself. Instead, I sat there rocking baby girl and gave thanks to God for placing a little sunshine in my rainy day, sour mood and grumpiness today.  Okay, so its not really raining here today, in my world it was raining today. I was pouting and acting as a child.  Then God sent me a simple little dragonfly, something he knew I would enjoy and that would make me smile and ease my frustrations, as HIS child. 

(I take that back, just as I thought I would get Morgan and go to the park, its starts to down pour!! So it is actually raining on my day here!) LOL!

It's the little things in life like that, that God wants us to stop and enjoy.  Seeing me smile, I know brought Him joy.  Something He created, a little smiling dragonfly, possibly just for ME, because He knew how much I would appreciate and enjoy that little dragonfly face. 

That's my daddy, my heavenly father.  He knows me best! 

And to top it off.... after rethinking things through about this loss of a booking down in the Keys.  It was indeed no ones loss.  They got their model with the "long" hair, and I get to go use my spa certificate and get an hour long Swedish massage tonight.  Whoot! Whoot! 

Now, take a look at these pictures.  They are not the same photo cropped and zoomed.  This little guy let me take several pictures of it's beautiful smiling face.  Let it bring a smile to your face also.  Enjoy.  

(Click on images to zoom in)

(Do you see it smiling at you too?)

PS:  Who knows, that dragonfly's entire purpose may have just been for me today.  Ever think about that? Maybe it wasn't, but maybe it was? Thank you little dragonfly for bringing a joy and a smile to my face today.  

His Will Wednesday

Do you have a prayer, need, request or a thanks for an answered prayer and need a safe place to share it?  

You have come to the right place.  A christian faith blog, with a ton of prayer worriers.  If you are hurting, struggling, healing, changing, trying, worried, happy, thankful, stressed, angry, confused, scared, sick, sad, unsure and even lost. 

It doesn't matter, because HIS love is deeper than anything you are going through or experiencing. You just need to trust Him enough, believe in Him enough, and even allow Him enough to show up in your life and prayers.  

Please leave your prayer request in the comment section, and know that people are reading them and praying for you.  And I once read and LOVED this little chain idea.  If you do not read all prayer request, while you post your own request, will you please take the time to say a prayer for the person right above your comment?  

I personally will read each and everyone myself and pray over them.  

I also would like to post a couple of my own personal prayer request here.

1.  Please pray for a friend of mine.  She lost her father this past fall, and now her sister has stomach cancer, and just had half of her stomach and intestines removed.  My friend is a busy mom of three little kids, a wife to a pro-coach whom is always on the road traveling, and she is trying to find that balance for her immediate family and her own family.  

2. Also, my other friend Susan, is still dealing with the hurt and sadness of losing her mom to cancer last month.  She is here in Florida alone with no family for support.  Please pray for her to have some peace and comfort during this difficult time.

3.  Also, I had a prayer request sent to me a few days ago from a lady that was scheduled to have a c-section TODAY.  At this time I can't find her information, or I would direct you to her blog.  Hopefully in a few days she will be able to give us all an update.  Please pray that all went smoothly and that baby and mom are healthy.  I'll check to see if her request was left on last Wednesday's comments.

I found her, go see her answered prayer here!! He is BIG and beautiful.

4. My buddy Tim, over at Fort Thompson is having surgery on Thursday. Please read here for more.

5. Please pray for Baby Lindsay.

6. Please pray for Baby Ryan.

7. Please pray for Baby Avery.

8. Please pray for Maggie.

9. Please pray for Camryn.

10. Please pray for Baby Jonah.

Oh....and look who is going to be a BIG SISTER!!! Baby Cora! The Mac's are expecting, due in January. They lost Cora at 11 months old, just four months ago. Please pray for this family's healing, and blessings.

11. Pray for Abby and Abby. Two beautiful and brave girls.

And don't forget, if you know of, or have an answered prayer.  Please feel free to share it here because we need to be reminded to give thanks, just as much if not more than we pray and seek. 

I have been thinking about this button thing, and a reader sent me this one and I like it. 

Thought I get your thoughts too. 

Do you like this for a button? 

And I can use the OLD button for the header picture for HWW post?

GOD BLESS!

Not Me, Monday! (Important Reminder!)

Okay, in effort to get more things done during my days, and make my summer days with my kids as fun as possible, and with getting in real quality time, I will be writing most of my post at nights before bed. 

I guess I really don't need to express that, because my post will still post in the AM, which doesn't change anything up for you guys.  

O'well. 

Anyways, I hope you had a wonderful weekend.  Today is Monday, duh! And I typically like to play in the blog carnival, NOT ME, MONDAY!   

It's MckMama's way of allowing all of us real mothers to let go and forget all about those things that we "normally" wouldn't do, but then do, because of lack of whatever (tiredness, exhaustion, frustration, desperation etc). 

It allows all of us to be reminded that we are NORMAL mother's and are not alone in not being perfect mothers.  

If you follow me on Twitter, you probably read about me having to take little Butterfly to the doctor last week for her ear.  She is my walking wobbling toddler now, and into EVERYTHING.  She is the cutest thing I have ever seen, besides Hunter when he was this age, walking around the house.  

She knows her way around this house and could probably walk it with her eyes closed. If there is a door open, she WILL find it.  She loves going into my room or her brothers room most.  She saw that mommy left the door opened to my room, as quickly and as fast as her little legs would let her, took off.  

I had just walked back into the kitchen, when all of the sudden I hear a bump and a scream.  I knew it before even seeing anything, that this was the real deal cry.  Not that whining cry from a little boom or bump.  As I walk in there I see blood coming from her ear.  It's not that bright in my room because the light if off and so I quickly run her into my bathroom so I can see why her ear is bleeding. 

She was walking, and I assume she went to lean in mommy's bench at the end of the bed with her left hand, and missed it. Causing her to fall, just catching the bench on her left ear, causing the earring to rip upward in her earlobe.  At first I thought the back of the earring was jammed inside her earlobe.  I remember saying quietly to myself "oh no! oh no!" But then I turned the light in the room on and saw the back to the earring on the floor. 

So I grab some antibacterial foam to clean the ear, taking the earring out.  Trying to get a better look at the ear to see how deep the cut was and if she would need glue or stitches.  However with a screaming child fighting you, its not that easy.  To be safe I loaded her up in the car and we drove down the street to her doctors office.  As the nurse is telling us that we may want to go to the ER to be safe because they do not do glue or stitches in the office.  I instead insist the doctor look at it first, because I wasn't prepared to go sit in the ER lobby for hours, pay $200 and then be told she didn't even need either glue or stitches.  

The doctor comes and and takes a look, and by that time from me cleaning her ear and pushing her cut back together before getting there.  The blood was already starting to dry up, the lines of the cut matched up and the doctor applauded me, saying I did the right thing and that it looks like it wants to heal up on it's on without any help.  She said to leave out the earring for a few days, clean it with peroxide and put  Bacitracin Ointment on it three times a day.  After a few days, to then put in an earring but one with a hook, not a back.  This way we don't mess up the ear piercing hole and the hook will keep it open, while also not touching the cut of her ear, allowing for it to continue to close up and heal.  

Sheez.... now that I cleared all that up. Let me get to the Not Me, Monday part.

Friday, I thought I would take Morgan to the mall to eat lunch at Rainforest Cafe, and stop at Clairs for some cheep little girl loop/hook earrings for her ear.  Before leaving the house that day, I didn't change Morgan's dirty diaper, and place it in a green plastic diaper trash bag, half tie and it toss it into the hallway to place in the diaper pale we keep in the laundry room.  Only to hear a few minutes later, plastic nose coming from the other side of the house, while I was in the living room, to go look and to find my 14 month old daughter had gotten the plastic bag opened, her dirty diaper out on the floor and had the dirty poopy wipes in one hand and her other hand in the dirty diaper, and just as I turned the corner, I didn't scream "NOOOOO!!!"  as I ran and grabbed that hand just a second before it made its way into her mouth.  Ugh!!! 

Saturday morning, Mark and I attended a Life.Money.Hope seminar at our church, that was hosted (via video) by Dave Ramsey.  It was great and I do plan on sharing something on my blog over the next few days that we learned and are going to put to use in our home, that I think may be of some use for some of you as well.  So look out for that.

Although, we did stay awake during the seminar, considering we were up ever couple hours the night before with Morgan.  Yea, she woke up five times Friday night, and I was up for all of them, but one.  Dave Ramsey was entertaining and had such a fun way speaking, it kept us awake, laughing and intrigued.  

However, once we got home, it was not me, daddy and butterfly that all crashed out for an afternoon nap.  

While Saturday night, I went to a friends house with baby girl and then to the beach for a couple of hours after a huge rain storm came through.  My friends daughter ended up coming over for a sleepover with us.  I put Morgan down, and not even an hour had gone by.  I quickly saw Friday night, happening all over again Saturday night.  In attempt to try and get more sleep and allow everyone in the house to get more sleep that we did Friday night, I certainly did not climb into Morgan's crib and lay with her.  Letting her sleep on my chest, while drooling down my shoulder.  While that only lasted about 30 minutes before she was up screaming again.  I didn't break down and run to the kitchen get her some Tylenol to give her.  

*In which she slept the entire night afterwards. 

Sunday, it turned out to be such a beautiful day.  We hung out in the house most of the day in our pj's.  Nice! Then later that day we went to the pool for about an hour, in which I took many pictures of my beautiful girl in her ...... well you will just have to wait and see when I post her pictures.  After the pool we attended the 6:00 PM service at church and then went home to grill some chicken on the grill, with black beans and bake potatoes on the side. 

It was a bit of a crazy, hectic weekend, that ended on a positive note, a sunny day and a nice warm dinner and a full nights sleep.  

Do you have anything, that you normally wouldn't want to admit to?  Well, make a Not Me, Monday post and let it all out as if it you didn't do it.  Not only is it fun, but it is therapeutic. Then laugh at yourself and the situation as you read back over it.  

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and a blessed Monday to start off your week ahead.  

God Bless.

PS:  Ladies this is your reminder, Father's Day is next weekend. You can thank me later for that reminder.  LOL! 

I am struggling this year with ideas, and I am pretty creative normally when it comes to this stuff. However, if you are like us and the rest of the world right now, money is tight.  Do any of you have any of your creative juices flowing for how to give dad a great day to remember, without breaking the bank?   I have a couple of things in mind, but not sure if "that's it".  You know, its gotta hit me a feel like "that's it."  I would love to hear any ideas or suggestions you have, that maybe me and some others out here also struggling for ideas can use.

You didn't think that I would leave you a post without a picture did you?  I try to not do that at least.  

These pictures are taking with my iPhone.  At the beach I ran into some of my old beach volleyball buddies.  They gave Morgan a couple of balls to play with, you know, getting her started early, considering she may be six feet tall.  She absolutely loved the beach, the ocean water and being outside.  A girl truly after my own heart. 

**AND I RESIZED THEM WITH HTML CODING, NOT PHOTOBUCKET, YEA!!!** Although, probably not the best in quality of photos to use to resize on here, but what better time to try something new than now, right?  

That is also Aston, my friends daughter that came and spent the night with us.  She left the next day for church camp.  I want to go back to church camp, I miss those days.  

And no it's not me that now got the "itch" again to play beach volleyball, and isn't thinking of scratching that itch this week one day or two.  Hmmm..... Ill keep you posted on this itch and scratch thing.  

Oh, and I so didn't let my daughter french kiss me for about 7 straight minutes last night while trying to rock her to sleep for bed.  In which she in return didn't think it was the funniest thing ever having my tongue and hers wiggle and tickles each others.  

I know it sounds a bit gross, and trust me, it sort of is...but when its her and her slobber, and her yummy smelly breath, its never THAT gross.  Even knowing she tried to taste her own poop from that diaper the day before.  

(So sorry for the sloppy typing today, but I have a fussy girl that won't let up this morning and as I mentioned earlier, I will no longer post during the day.  I will work on them at nights when the kids are in bed.) Only 5 1/2 days left and Hunter is back home.  Whoot! Whoot! 

Which reminds me.... I didn't accomplish one single thing on my list.  LOL  O'well! 

Apology Letter from "B"...April Rose Blog

I normally don't check the blog life out much on the weekends, because I am soaking up the love and attention I get from my family being home with me.  

While I just put baby girl down for a nap, Mark is off running some errands and I need to go take a nap myself.  I thought I would glance and see if any of my friends posted.  

I see a post from the "April Rose" blog and of course my heart sort of jumped, because I was surprised.  I click on the link that popped up her letter and I read it.  

Once I was done reading it, I left her a comment and this is what it said.

********************

I forgive you. There are no perfect people anywhere on this earth. There is only one perfect person, and HE paid the price for ALL of US. I was never angry with you. Just confused. I have prayed many times for you. I will also post your letter on my blog, because I think regardless of what you have done, you have the right to be heard, your apology to be heard...and I will be the first to say that I FORGIVE YOU. God Bless you girl.... Don't give up. Get the help you need, and let GOD, make something amazingly good in your life from all this bad, negative and sad stuff. Let HIM prosper you. Only HE can fill that missing piece in your life that you thought you found through all of us on your blog. Only HIS love goes deeper for you than anything you already experienced or been through. God forgives you. God loves you.... and so do I, and I have never met you. Take care.

********************

Now I ask that you take the time to read her letter too, and as Christians, we all forgive her.

********************

THE LETTER(click here)

*She did have comment section open, but now she doesn't. Just pray for her instead.

Enough

-Author (I do not know), but I felt this on my heart today for many of us today. 

Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged, and the mother said, 'I love you, and I pray you enough.'
 
The daughter replied, 'Mom, our life together has been more than enough.  Your love is all I ever needed. I pray you enough, too, Mom.' 
 
They kissed, and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?' 

Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?' 
 
'Well...I'm not as young as I once was, she lives so far away & has her own busy life. I have some challenges ahead, and the reality is - her next trip back will be for my funeral,' she said. 
 
'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I pray you enough.' May I ask what that means?' 
 
She began to smile. 'That's a prayer that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.' She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and she smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I pray you enough,' we wanted the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.' 

Then, turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory. 

I pray you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear. 
 
I pray you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more. 
 
I pray you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting. 

I pray you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger. 
 
I pray you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. 
 
I pray you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. 
 
I pray you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye. 
 
Then, she began to cry, and walked away. 
 
They say, it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but an entire life to forget them. 
 
  
TAKE TIME TO LIVE.....  
To all my friends and loved ones,
I PRAY YOU ENOUGH.......