Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Dear Butterfly -

My Dearest Morgan (Butterfly)-

Today you are 5 months old. Where did the time fly, Butterfly? Look at this face in this picture. You have no idea the joy and the love you bring into the lives of those around you. You are so loved.

Today you weighed 18.7 pounds. That is in the 95th percentile in weight. You were 27 1/2 long, and the doctor says you are "off the charts" basically in your height. Way to go big girl!! We told everyone we were working on that 100th percentile, if there is such a thing. You have the chance to be really tall like daddy baby girl.

You are doing everything you are suppose to be doing at this age. You are so strong. You hold you head up really strong. You are rolling from back to tummy and back over again. You are laughing and so aware of what is around you. Ah... your laugh Butterfly, your laugh is joyful to hear. It is really one of my favorite things about you. I love the glow in your eyes when you are excited and the sound you make right before you know you are about to be tickled before letting out your giggle. Sometimes I will laugh from your laugh, and then you start to laugh even more and then I laugh more. That is how contagious your smile and laugh are.

You want to crawl so badly and you love to stand on your feet. One of your favorite games that daddy loves to play with you, is the game where he lays you on the bed, lets you hold his fingers and then we count "One, Two and Three" and pull you up to where you stand up on your own two feet. You always have this proud excited face with your mouth in a wide oval shape. You are such a happy baby girl.

You have been sleeping in your bed for a little over a month now and doing really well. Sometimes you sleep through the entire night now, and then there are still other nights you wake up just long enough to drink a bottle. I don't mind those 3 AM feedings, for you are so peaceful then, half asleep as I rock you and stare at you while you eat. Once you are done eating I could put you back in your crib, but sometimes I just sit there and rock you a little longer, just to hold you a little longer and smell you a little longer. One of daddy's favorite sounds are your little breathing sighs, the ones you do in little patterns, settling yourself in right before you drift off to sleep.

You still love your baths baby girl. However we do need to get you a new bathtub or come up with something creative, for you are no longer able to stretch your legs out in your little infant tub we have now. You really are such a big girl.

You have been eating cereal for over a month now too and doing really well with it. Your doctor gave us the okay today to start giving you real food. So I am looking forward to the messy feedings coming up when we try veggies (yes, veggies first Butterfly), although we know you already like popsicles (Thanks Daddy!).

Let's see, right now you are over there on your play mat reaching at the objects hanging from the top. You have two band-aids on, one one each thigh, for you were given two shots at your check-up today. The doctor said that you were boring, that everything was A-OKAY PERFECT. So that was a doctors compliment for a beautiful healthy girl. Although he says your heart murmur could still be heard, and something that may just be apart of your life forever. It is normal he says!!!

My Butterfly, I just want to write here today for all to know and read. Something that I will print and save for you to one day read on your own. Morgan, you have changed my life forever. Forever in such a beautiful and blessed way. I thought I wanted boys, and could never imagine myself with girls (or a girl). And then here you are today. GODS plans are always so much bigger and better. When I look at you or simply just have a thought run though my head that "I HAVE A LITTLE GIRL", I get tears in my eyes. I love you and your brother so much. I love the fact that I can love you like my little girl, and your brother like my little boy. You both have such very unique and special places permanently in my heart.

Things are different for me raising you than they were when your brother was this age. When I had Hunter I was only 21 years old. Still a child myself! I was single, living far away from my own family and raising a baby on my own. I was doing all that I could for work to survive and be the best mommy I could be for him. Today, I have been blessed so abundantly. I have been blessed with your daddy. Your daddy loves me so much and he loves our family, our growing family. I have a beautiful family to love and live my life with. A family that loves me so much. So much that I often feel like I am being pulled in so many directions, struggling to make sure I give each and everyone of you my undivided attention and love when you each need it the most. It is hard sometimes, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. And because of all these blessings mommy gets to stay home and take care of you one-on-one. I love it! We have our little bond!

Did I mention that your eyes are a deep as the ocean and as blue as the sky? You are going to mezmerize so many with those eyes. I love the smell of your breath, even if you did just puke all over me for the 20th time of the day. Your drool is cold and wet, but it's you and I love it. You even look precious when you scrunch up your face when you start to fuss or get mad. I know when you are just fussing and when you are really upset. When you are upset you have this higher pitch to your cry. I would know it instantly if I heard it across the room. You are still experiencing some separation anxiety. However you love mommy, daddy, your brother and Aunt Val. I guess because you see these faces every day. We can't leave you just yet with anyone else. We tried the nursery at the church and it wasn't even 20 seconds I walked away and could hear you screaming down the hall. I stood outside the door for a couple of minutes where you couldn't see me to see if you would settle in, but you wouldn't. I ended up taking you inside with me and you didn't like the loud music and hid your face in daddy's shoulder and neck. When the music stopped you were comfortable enough to let mommy feed you a bottle and you sat with us the entire time with no fuss. I guess just thankful we didn't leave you in that room. (smiling)

I feel so protective of you little girl. You are strong, but you are still so fragile. A little miracle. Your hair is coming in more each day and looks like it will be a little strawberry blonde color. Daddy says you have mommy's hair, but your head shape and hair texture to me looks like daddy's. Its always funny to hear us talking about what you have from who? Daddy is certain you have my lips, but one glance at you and the first thing people say is "she looks like daddy". I mean both of my kids look like their dads, except for the blue eyes. Did I have anything to do with much of anything else other than delivering you guys?

Well my princess, you are now getting really fussy and so I can no longer focus on this letter. I just want you to know that I love you and I love your chunky thighs your facial expressions, your everything. Thank you for coming into my life, I am forever thankful and blessed to know you, my BUTTERFLY!!!

4 Personal Thoughts:

ASHLEY said...

what a sweet letter! you're a great mommy! question: were you going to originally name her mckenzie? I was reading an old post about her nursery and i got confused.

daniella said...

What a sweet letter. I know if my mother wrote me something like that I would treasure it forever...probably wear it in my bra everyday. Maybe not.

I too thought I could never handle a girl so when we found out that the baby is a "she" I actually cried because I didn't think I could raise her and be a good mommy - for same reasons as yours. But now, I wouldn't trade her for a million boys. I'm sure you feel the same way.



The Haynes Family said...

Happy 5 month Birthday Baby girl!
What a sweet blog Mom!

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